Hey Reddit, long time lurker but never posted so it may sound botched.

I (23F) have been with my amazing girlfriend Ella (22F) for a little over a year now. I love her to the moon and back, and I try to show her every chance I get. One of my biggest love languages is physical touch, so I'm always touching her in some way—my arm around her, linking arms, holding her hand, kissing her forehead, all that cute stuff. Most of it is just instinct at this point. And the best part? She’s the same way. We’re both super affectionate and touchy, and it’s been a really lovely part of our relationship.

Here’s where it gets tricky.

We’ve both been invited to a wedding for my friend Ada (28F), who absolutely adores Ella. She's been a huge supporter of me and Ella, and honestly, she was one of the people who pushed me to shoot my shot when I was too nervous to talk to Ella in the beginning. She loves her, and she’s invited us both to her wedding, which we’re really excited about.

BUT—and it’s a big one—Ada and I are originally from a very homophobic country. The wedding is taking place in Ella’s country (where we currently live), but about 90% of the guests will be flying in from our home country. And honestly? There’s a very high chance that a lot of them are homophobic, or at the very least, extremely conservative.

I’m really worried about making things awkward or potentially causing a scene on Ada’s big day. I don’t want to be the reason people are whispering or making a fuss during someone else’s wedding. And while Ada has said she’s fine with whatever and supports us fully, I still don’t want to risk putting her or us in an uncomfortable situation—especially since weddings can already be stressful.

So now I’m debating whether or not to talk to Ella about maybe toning down our usual PDA just for the wedding. But I’m really torn. I don’t want her to feel like I’m ashamed of her or not proud to be with her, because that couldn’t be further from the truth. I just want to be respectful of the situation and avoid unnecessary drama.

I haven’t brought it up to her yet because I want to know—would I be a total asshole for even asking this? Is there a way to bring it up gently so that it doesn’t come off wrong? I’d really appreciate some advice here.