My boyfriend thinks getting a therapist won’t fix my problems and they’re only going to tell me what he’s been saying along.

Long story short i haven’t been myself since moving in with him. I’ve made it clear it’s nothing to do with him as I feel like he thinks I blame him. I moved to a different city and my friends and I lost contact, naturally. I had to deal with losing my friends and I don’t really speak to my family. I also just graduated university so started out looking for graduate jobs I was unsuccessful in my chosen career path which took a toll on me too.

He helped me out massively by giving me a job which I was very grateful for and now I am working in London. He thinks my feelings of worthlessness and despair are pathetic as nothing has really changed me for me as I still wake up feeling alone and sad. I understand how difficult this can be for him as I’m not the same person anymore.

We argue all the time, our sex life has now paused and he hates being around me. Sometimes I can’t explain how I feel and he says he has set up his life to not have negativity in it. He hates it when I cry and thinks I am being a victim and have a pity party all the time and I just need to “man up” and stop wishing for people to save me.

I admit I need help and suggest a therapist and he weirdly gets annoyed almost saying they’re just going to say the same thing he is. I feel like his delivery at the moment towards me is very unkind and leaves me feeling worse hence why I cry and repeat myself a lot to the point he calls me hysterical and a maniac.

I have very bad mood swings and it appears inconsistent towards him. He has basically given me an ultimatum saying he needs one week of consistency to get back to that point where we are happy together.

I know I’m not perfect and neither is he but it feels like he is putting all the blame on me saying he won’t change once he starts to see me change.

Fair enough.

I think that a therapist will massively help me as it will help me understand my trauma and past which I believe is affecting my future.

I don’t know why he’s so angry with me asking for help and looking to someone to be able to professionally explain my emotions instead of doing it the way he does. We are not the same people and he is making me feel like I’m in the wrong for wanting help.

I don’t think it makes me weak. If he really cared about our relationship surely he would be all for me seeing a therapist and getting the “old me” back.