Hi friends,

thats the first time for me posting on AITAH. nice to meet you all! be frank with me, thats what i am here for, no need for sugarcoating.

im m34 living in central EU. i didnt have a relationship for over 10 years, i never met anyone i found intresting in this time and i didnt want to play the tinder game.

at some point i started visiting camgirlsites because i am missing the sex and used those sites as a (mediocre) substitute. there is this one camgirl from eastern europe (we speak the same language).

eventually we did some smalltalk, got along great. at some point she started joking about me "taking" her away to my country in central EU - a lot. i laughted it off being sure its just her doing her job (being nice to a client).

a couple of days ago i joined her stream and didnt log in yet (she didnt know i was around). she was talking to a colleague about me.

morally it would have been the right thing to turn off the stream at this point. but i didnt. turns out she does actually like me and is doing those jokes about me taking her away for a reason.

this seems insane to me. there must be some reason for this i am not aware of. she is 12y younger than me. she has no idea how i look and doesnt know much about me (and vice versa). she doesnt speak my countries language nor english. for all she knows i might be some maniac (im not, im harmless).

i do really like her. not because of the sexual aspects - i am not looking for a sexual adventure, im intested in a real relationship between equals. i have no idea what she is looking for in this. she has a great sense of humor, seems a bit insane, likes drugs (as do i) - i would love to get to know her better.

she has issues - as do i, i am not a rich white knight in shining armor. but i am ready to change a lot of things in my life to be with her. as a reminder, however idiotic this sounds, she is the first person i "met" in over 10 years who sparked intrest in me. if its not her its no one at all.

so. now im pondering whether i should go for it. tell her how i feel and offer to exchange real life contact information - see where it goes from there. (this is a no go on webcaming sites. only creepy fucks do this, its forbidden by the cam sites and studios for good reasons.)

i didnt share any of this with anyone. i am gratefull for any input!