My (25F) fiancé (26M) proposed in front of my entire family, despite me telling him multiple times that I wanted something more private and special. I had told him I dreamed of a proposal in nature, just the two of us, with a hidden photographer capturing the moment.

On New Year’s Day, he proposed in front of my whole family—many of whom I haven’t even spoken to in the past three years. There was barely one good photo and no videos of the proposal.

Right before we left for the gathering, I even reminded him not to propose that day. He ignored that and went ahead with it anyway. I was happy he wanted to propose, but I couldn’t help feeling frustrated and upset that he completely disregarded what I had asked for.

Instead of acknowledging my feelings, he seemed to pity himself and made me feel like I had to cheer him up, even though I was the one who was hurt.

I ended up crying the night of my engagement—not because I didn’t love him, but because I had never imagined being proposed to at all, and when I finally let myself dream about it, this wasn’t how I pictured it.

It might sound selfish, but this was something really meaningful to me. Am I the asshole?