As title asks. For context, me and my partner have been together for 4 years and we have 3 children between us. She has a boy, we had a girl, and I have a girl. We are a well integrated family. Just to note, she is a type 1 diabetic. Early on in the relationship she miscarried and it was devastating moreso for her than me. I did my best to be supportive and reliable and we got through it. She got pregnant a second time, and this time our girl made it through. There were a lot of complications during her pregnancy due to diabetes that made it a high risk pregnancy. I took a lot of time off work to tend to her when she was sick, for hospital and doctors appointments, and for when she was completely burned out due to the combination of being pregnant with diabetes. Not to mention to look after her son as well when she wasn't able to due to reasons I stated above.

Unfortunately, she had another miscarriage early on this year and once again it was devastating for her and me but not as much as the first time. We both want another one. We are in a good position to at the moment. I work and earn a good wage, and she tends to the home and looks after the kids. I've seen her go through 2 miscarriages and it absolutely hurt me to see the state that she was in. I do want a boy, so I'm willing to give it another try.

I was trying to talk to her on a serious level last night and come to a compromise by telling her I'm happy to try again, but if she miscarries again, that's it. I'm not doing it again and seeing her totally heartbroken and become a shell of herself. She said it was always a dream to have 3 kids and she needs to fill the void of the last miscarriage. She believes our daughter came back to her and so will the last miscarriage. I know I was being raw, but I was also being realistic in saying with her current health conditions and age, multiple miscarriages could happen, and for my own sanity as well, I would not be repeatedly trying.

I was adamant and firm in saying no, this is the last attempt. She then started saying some crazy stuff like I'm a dream killer, she would keep my condoms, and she would give me head while im sleeping, spit my semen out and put it inside of her. I told her from ages ago, that regardless of whatever happens, I will be having a vasectomy. She's been angry with me and hasn't spoken to me since and I've had enough of this childish behaviour. She says I don't love her enough to keep trying and she will get pregnant by me one way or another.

I know it's all emotional talk and she is still hurting from both miscarriages. But I don't think she understands how I feel about the miscarriages and the effort it takes to look after her when she is pregnant.

Am I the asshole here?