I (29F) have been with my husband (31M) for 10 years, married for 6. We have two kids (5M and 2F). From the outside, we looked like the perfect couple—young, successful, happy. But behind closed doors, it was a different story.

My husband was never physically abusive, but emotionally? He had me doubting my own sanity. He constantly gaslit me—saying I was “too sensitive,” “imagining things,” “blowing everything out of proportion.” He’d yell, break things during arguments, guilt me into sex, and twist my words until I didn’t even trust my own thoughts. Any time I brought up how I felt unsafe or afraid of how he talked to me, he’d laugh and say I was crazy and needed help.

The turning point came when our son told me he was “scared of Daddy when he gets loud.” Something snapped in me. I realized I wasn’t just staying for my kids—I was keeping them in the same prison I was trying to survive in.

So I made a quiet plan. I started therapy in secret. Opened a bank account he didn’t know about. Waited for the right moment. Then one day, while he was at work, I took the kids and left the state. I’m staying with a friend and working with a lawyer to file for full custody. I’ve also got CPS and a counselor involved.

Now, he’s blowing up my phone. He posted on Facebook that I “kidnapped” his children and left him “without a clue.” His mother is calling me a “psycho” and says I’m “ruining a good man.” Some of our mutual friends are messaging me saying I’m heartless and that I should’ve at least let him say goodbye to the kids. A few even say I’m alienating them from their father.

I honestly feel like I did the only thing I could—but part of me still wonders if I should’ve handled it differently. So…

AITA for taking my kids and leaving without telling my husband first?