Am I the a****** 39f for not wanting to use toys and give my 5-year fiance 38m anal with those toys when I never knew he was like this until I stumbled upon emails and confronted him about a year into our relationship we have a child bloodline together but he raised my first child since she was 4 months old he is both their fathers equally I love him I respect him but he knows I don't like to do this yeah I feel like I have to because you know if I loved him I would do it example A however this has greatly impacted our natural sex life that we had when we started I'm becoming very miserable I don't know what to do so am I the a******