My fiancé (32M) and I (29F) are getting married in September of 2025. My first cousin (17M) from my mom’s side lives in Alaska with his mom, while his dad resides with my mom and grandmother in Georgia. On the day I chose my wedding dress (March 9th), the ladies in my family and I went out to celebrate. During the discussion about the wedding, my mom mentioned that my cousin and his girlfriend would be sharing a room at her house when they arrive for our wedding. I was taken aback and immediately questioned her about this plan to have my cousin’s girlfriend come, as I hadn’t been informed about it beforehand. For context, I discovered my cousin had a girlfriend last Christmas. We were all chatting about her and my cousin during a family gathering. They’re both in high school and will be graduating together this May.

I couldn’t believe my uncle didn’t mention anything about her since the holidays. I see him quite often since he lives with my mom to help take care of my grandmother with dementia. The day after my mom dropped the news on me she called me to plead on my uncle and cousin’s behalf to just accommodate her on the guest list. I explained my fiancé and I had just finalized our guest list exactly at 100 which is our very max when we originally hoped to land around 75. When my fiancé and I were creating our guest list we thoughtfully chose to only include plus ones for people in long term relationships or married couples.

Instead of dealing with my mom and uncle on the matter I decided to reach out my cousin directly. We caught up before I brought up the subject and I gathered more details on this relationship and the girlfriend. He said they had been dating for 6 months. I finally tell him that I just found out about his dad’s plan to have his gf come for the wedding but explained we were already at max capacity on our guest list. I also told him it wasn’t personal to his gf, we hope we get to meet her at some point and that he will still come to our wedding even if we can’t accommodate her. I want to note that I did tell him we would have to wait until we get RSVPs in by July to know if we can add her to the list. My cousin responded that he hopes to come which didn’t make me feel too confident that he was being understanding but I left it there. I didn’t bother communicating with my uncle on this matter because I know him and he is a headstrong man and would not see reason when it came to his son not getting what he may have wanted or what my uncle falsely promised him.

This all happened over the same weekend in early March. Since then my uncle has decided to act cold towards my fiancé and I. He does not make conversation with us when we come over to hang out and avoids any interactions. It frankly makes the vibe very awkward and tense when we go visit and spend time with my mom. We still always make the effort to greet and speak to him.

Yesterday, I was catching up with my Mom over the phone and she mentions he apparently said he won’t be going to our wedding. We still haven’t mailed out the invites so I’m trying to take this with a grain of salt until he officially RSVPs but hearing that truly shocked me. I feel like my uncle is blowing this whole girlfriend thing out of proportion. I don’t think he is being considerate that a wedding is an intimate event for the couple’s family and friends. Which should’t surprise me because last summer he got out of a 10 year relationship and the same month his ex-girlfriend moved out he asked me to still save him a plus one for someone. Turned out he already had a new girlfriend none of us had even met. This happened July 2024 so we at least had a year to plan for and accommodate this new woman in his life. I didn’t make a stink or a fuss to avoid any drama with him. 

It blows my mind the way my uncle seems to be handling the situation. I think he is so used to being this tough macho man that I’m sure he thinks he can intimidate us by silent treatment into giving in and inviting this girl. This is the kind of drama I would expect if someone’s wife wasn’t invited to a wedding, not a high school sweetheart of 6 months. It has now been a little over a month of this drama and the more I think on it the less I want this girl to come. Nothing against her but I don’t think it’s appropriate for her to come, they have barely been dating and we have not even met the girl. 

AITA?