I'm ( F40) coming here because I don't want to share this in real life. I'm a habitual shopper at a supermarket that has become my happy place. I've always found it very safe, so I also park to eat my lunch from wherever I get it because it offer good privacy and has security doing rounds.

I have “supermarket friends”, which is normal. I'm very used to having healthy, platonic friendships with men. I know this guy, Bert (M59) from my years as a client. He seemed like a cool guy, very respectful. We had enough cordially to build a positive interaction.

I ran into him 3 months ago at a community event. We were both hanging out with 2 groups of people. We decided to all sit together and frankly, I left the event with an even better impression. All of it was very cut and dry platonic and I was comfortable.

There was an Easter event about 14 days ago, he was there with his friends. I was there with my own friends and again, we merged. We talked as usual and when he found out that we have birthdays in the same week, he was thrilled. TBH, he never has any flirtatious energy or anything. We all exchanged numbers. I saw him the next day and he had gotten me a present ( he makes souvenirs). I was very appreciative and thanked him. Sideline: he's very depressed because of family problems that he shared while at one of the events and continuously gets very down and pessimistic. All good, I still say hi when I see him but it's not like we are super close.

Fast forward and I saw him last week, and everything seemed normal, but once I left the supermarket, he started texting me. I really don't know what to do because it's like subtle energy that feels unsettling at the same time. He has been texting silly stuff, nothing sexual. But then he asked “I hope your husband or boyfriend doesn't mind” and that pissed me off because it sounds like a pickup line. I didn't respond.

I went to their deli yesterday and he was near the entrance, so I said hello. He immediately called me out for not texting him. He also said that he liked my shirt and that I looked gorgeous and he kept touching my arm and trying to feel the fabric. I quickly said goodbye, got my food and left. BTW, he has a wife ( I don't care if he claims they have problems).

I want some advice. I could talk to him but I'd like to bring something up: He seems to have a history of crying. He told me once that a coworker took him to HR and he seemed traumatized. It was a sexual harrasment complaint and I found out after he had my number. I feel dumb. I know I may sound dramatic but I don't want drama. I'm also worried that a point blank rejection could make things worse. I don't know if he's mentally okay? I'm saying this because this went from innocent and respectful to borderline fastidious and potentially creepy within hours. I truly saw him as a respectable guy but I'm beginning to hate him. Not going to that supermarket is not an option.

Also, he has been texting me first thing in the morning, saying that I look like a model ( not true) and telling me how much seeing me makes him happy. He said I'm gorgeous and I froze him out. Aside from this, he says “please write to me to help me lift my spirits because my life sucks”. I think he's looking to dump trauma on someone and it's inappropriate.

He complained ( while we were with the friends group) that hisbex wife left him, that his family uses him and that he's unhappy. I'm thinking that treating him kindly confused him.

Please offer advice and be honest. I don't know what I did to send a mixed signal. Before we all left the second event, we had a group hug and everyone left looking comfortable and in a good mood. Even my female friends commented on the positive interactions. I will no longer attend any events where he might go.

I don't even know what to say. Also: I don't see him 100% of the times that I go there. I haven't replied to him and will not ( muted him). He keeps sending me pictures of himself ( nothing indecent). Help??!

Sorry for any typos. I'm on my cellphone.