Some backstory: I'm a 13 year old girl with braces that is learning virtually. My mom's an only mom and we have 0 family. Also, sorry if this is messy and disorganized, just ask anything (I'll try my best to reply to you ASAP). Be 100%, but don't you dare insult my mom in the least. I will be REALLY angry with you. 😡👿 Also, sorry for the long post, TL;DR at the end if you wanna skip ahead.

Anyway, this started on Saturday, when my mom made some cooked pork fat. It ended up really crispy, and unfortunately broke my braces. NGL, my mom shouldn't have given it to me, but I also should have declined. It just dislocated my bracket (didn't break it), and it ended up causing a sore little wound on my gums. Since it was the weekend, we had to wait until at least Monday, which was absolutely horrible.

So my mom decided to try and take off the bracket from the wire. Then she changed her mind cuz she didn't wanna lose it and didn't want the wire to hurt me, so she put it back before completely removing it.

Forgot to mention this, but she's been really depressed lately (not going to get into it cuz of privacy) and so have I. I've been depressed for the last year (since losing two of my best friends), but things looked up when I got more friends. Then those turned out to be traitors that broke me and my first BF up, which really destroyed me. Finally I got in frequent contact with one of those two besties, but the other one I still talk to a lot.

Anyway, that's just backstory in case it's important. She snapped at me when she was using a fork and tweezers to basically move the bracket around, because it was cutting into my gums so hard it brought tears to my eyes. But at least she put it back properly, prob better than it was before, so there's that.

On Sunday, we had a fight cuz she wanted to do smthing (again, not going to go into it), and I said I was proud of her, and she told me to not jinx it, but I said I was proud of her for having the courage to try, and she snapped and said I was crossing her boundaries again (I did that a lot in the past and sometimes still do it; I'm extremely stubborn and always trying to be right, which causes fights). Then I walked away to talk to myself about it, aka give myself a pep talk (don't call me crazy, this is my coping mechanism), and she yelled to me to stop talking back to her behind her back.

I told her I was giving myself a pep talk to stop crossing boundaries, and she yelled about me always crossing boundaries and being rude and how I was clearly "very smart" (sarcastically) for always crossing her boundaries.

I also should add I am extremely insecure and that I sometimes cut myself down with words to try to undermine myself (IDK why, I've been like this for years), and this really hurt me.

Being depressed and insecure really combined these constant comments (several times per week, like 6-8 times a week), have made me feel really bad and horrible not only to myself, but made me more negative than usual (tho I always been negative), and also, ironically, slightly ruder than I'd be (tho I think I've improved from the level of rudeness I used to have, as well as disobedience and crossing boundaries).

Since we fight at least once per day, and things are always awkward after that, it was awkward for the next hour. IDK if I need to mention this, but things used to be different before she was depressed. We bickered a lot (because I was 1000 times worse than I am now), but we hardly ever really fought. But when we fought, it was around once a month, and she'd be silent for at least 2 hours. This, she later told me, was because she was collecting her thoughts and didn't want to say anything rude or cruel or mean to me. (Like I said, she was perfect back then.)

But things changed once she became depressed. We fight nearly every day, she's always really angry and says cruel, terrible things (basically the things I say to myself), but it only lasts for 15-30 minutes! Explain this to me! This is absolutely a 180.

I've tried to be patient bc I know what she's going through and why (she's told me why), but all these comments are starting to make me resent her. I want to spend a lot less time with her, as to where I used to want to be glued to her 100% of the time, and it even drove me to writing this post bc IDK what else to do. Part of me hopes she never finds it bc, well, we hear lots of Reddit posts of YT, and ID want a fight over this (bc this might), but part of me hopes she finds it bc I feel like I'm going mad and really need her to understand from my perspective.

Anyway, then on Monday we went to the dentist, but they couldn't see us until yesterday (Wednesday), and things were a lot better Monday and Tuesday.

Anyway, I find it's important to mention that we currently do not own a car, bc we are figuring things out, so a family friend (my mom's ex) went to take us. They fought (on Tuesday) bc he's difficult, rude, and totally stomps over her boundaries (not that she doesn't defend herself, I'm proud of how she handles him calmly and is never rude, never even lifts her voice at him). So he wanted her to do a favour for him and he didn't give details and didn't accept any responsibility for himself (as always 🙄). So yesterday, he said he was gonna pick us up at 2:40 for the app. Then he showed up 2:34.

My mom told me to get ready b4 hand so I could have 15 mins in school (last period is 2:25), and I was in school and the plan was to let the teacher know.

My mom sees the family friend there and immediately says, "We have to go now." So I go to tell my teacher, and she screams at me to go NOW bc our family friend was waiting and it was disrespectful to let others wait. Let me remind you, he was 6 minutes early, I was ready, we had discussed that I'd at least show common curtesy and tell my teacher before going. And not only that, but I have Velcro shoes that took me 10 seconds to put on, while hers took 3 minutes to put on.

So this really pissed me off (mind my language, but this was really, extremely beyond annoying), so I was out the door and in the car at once and basically ignored her. When our family friend said something, I thought about telling him off for disrespecting her, but I was too upset and hurt to defend her. Besides, she could do that herself, and she did.

We reached the dentist, they added a new bracket, and my mom said a comment that she kept saying since then that REALLY annoyed me. "I'm so sorry, I don't know how this happened. I had my braces SIX YEARS and this never ONCE happened. Kids, I guess, are just less careful than adults." IDK if this was too much (I didn't say anything, DW), but OMG, I mean, SHE gave me the pork fat. IK, IK, I shouldn't have accepted. But SHE'S the adult! Shouldn't she have seen this happening? Shouldn't she have NOT given it to me?! IDK, I still feel guilty for accepting. If it's my fault, PLEASE tell me, I'll accept full responsibility. But PLS tell me why, OK?

Anyway, the mood lifted after that and everything's been kinda smooth sailing. Except for one little thing this morning. She got up extra early (to help the before mentioned family friend), and she wanted to, coincidentally, watch a Reddit video, but I was in class. I offered to go away because I study in the living room (prob bc I wanted to just get away before we had a fight, and because I wanted some time for myself, since I didn't have the time I usually did when she was sleeping), and she declined, saying it was OK. I think her words were something like, "It's okay, don't worry about it." So I thought she was being nice, but I really wanted to leave, so I insisted. She yelled that I needed to stop fighting her on every topic, that no is no and that I have to stop this little habit of mine (which, admittedly, I do have, and still do a lot, I PROMISE I'm trying my best).

Anyway, that's pretty much it. I'm really sorry about the long post. I'll try a TL;DR: my mom got upset at me for eating crispy pork fat she cooked that ended up breaking one of my brackets (I got braces). We fought about boundaries that I've stepped over in the past and for being rude and disobedient, and she got angry for wasting a family friend's time that wasted a whole HOUR of her time the previous day, when we weren't even late, he was earlier than he should have been.

TYSM for all comments and sorry again for the long post. PLS be SUPER honest with me, and, as I said before, don't you insult my mom, be gentle. She's depressed, and so am I (for unrelated things, LOL). Sorry if I don't reply to everyone, IDK how big this post is gonna be.