Hi so I'm 35F, my husband is 38M and we've been together since I was 16 and him 19. I'm lean and fit but have always had thicker ankles and calves. I've tried everything to get rid of them naturally. I've been self conscious of them since I was a teenager and a girl pointed them out. I also often get really sore legs and I think it's because of the condition lipedema. I've considered lipedema treatment many times (liposuction on cankles/calves) but my husband is very against it. We're finally at a place where we're fairly financially well off but my husband has financial anxiety as well as some control issues. I have my own job and make good $ and have paid for botox and lip filler myself which has made me more confident but him angry. Since I am done having kids, I have received a lot of male attention. I was quite insecure and never put much effort into my appearance when I had little kids but was surprised to learn that most of my husband's friends had a crush on me. I think this makes him very insecure, along with his control issues and my newfound independence. A friend of his recently pointed out my cankles and once again I became very insecure. I brought up to my husband about getting lipedema surgery and he became very angry. Saying things like I don't want you talking about this bull$hit again and don't give me this Fing feminism it's my body bs. I had a feeling he would become very angry if I were to suggest it again but I stayed calm and refused to engage with him while he was acting so angry and irrational. Of course this made him more angry. I feel myself retreating from my husband (not just because of this, but years of feeling unheard and dismissed and his controlling behavior dictating all our life choices). A side note: my best friend passed away a few years ago and her husband and I started getting a bit too close emotionally. I told my husband before things got out of hand and stopped communicating one on one with him. Though he is still my husband's friend. I think he is really jealous.) This is clearly a very complex situation. Should I give up asking for lipedema surgery in hopes to save my marriage or is it important that I stand up for myself? AITA?