(Writing on behalf of my friend who wants an unbiased POV of her situation)

I (24F) got married last month after over a year of planning. I’m not exaggerating when I say I put everything into that wedding from the venue, to the menu, the custom invitations, even the flower arrangements, everything was chosen carefully and paid for out of my pocket.

My brother (32M) got engaged a few months after me. He and his fiance (now wife) said they were going to do a “small courthouse thing” and not to expect anything big. They were even thinking of eloping and ditching the whple wedding party and family celebration. Cool. I didn’t think much of it.

Fast forward to a few days before my wedding. One of our mutual friends accidentally let something slip “What’s up with you and your brother choosing a venue that’s nearly on the other side of the state.”

I was surprised and did a double take on her words and asked her to explain what she meant.

Turns out, my brother and his fiance secretly booked the exact same venue as me, same caterer, same color scheme, same DJ, and even used the same Pinterest board I’d shared in our family group chat when I was brainstorming.

And here’s the kicker: they got married one week before me. A full wedding, not a courthouse thing, no eloping, and didn’t invite me. They invited people from my guest list, though. My cousin showed me pics, it looked like a full on dress rehearsal of my wedding.

I confronted them at my rehearsal dinner, and my SIL said I should be flattered that she dabbled so much into her pinterest board and it should show that me and her have the same taste. Also, she says not everything was my idea.

I was done. I told them they were no longer welcome at my wedding. My brother blew up, saying I was overreacting and “robbing our parents of having both their kids there.” My mom begged me to reconsider. I didn’t. They didn’t show up. Everyone asked where they were, and I told them the truth.

Now half my extended family says I was cruel and “divided the family.” But I honestly feel like they crossed the line first.

So AITAH ?