My partner (25F) and I (30M) have been together for 3 years. She’s currently in grad school a few hours away not that far, and started joining a group of friends. She didn’t really have any friends back home, mostly coworkers so I was extremely excited for her. Recently I found out she let a guy she knows from her program hang in her dorm for hours at a time. Talking hours, into midnight. This happened multiple times before she even mentioned it to me. I only found out because I asked.

When she told me, I expressed how uncomfortable it made me. I trust her, but I don’t trust his intentions—especially since she admitted later that she probably crossed a line by letting him stay that long and apologized.

She’s insisted that my concern means I don’t trust her, but I feel it’s more about setting boundaries to protect our relationship.

To be clear, I’ve never tried to control who she hangs out with, and I didn’t immediately tell her to stop seeing him. I just asked if she could stop letting him hang around her dorm, as it feels inappropriate and out of line. She said she won’t do It again. But I want to ask her to stop hanging out with him so much in general.

I’m feeling disrespected and unsure if I was wrong to ask for this boundary. AITA?