For reference, we're a LDR. We've been together for 10 years now, lived together for 5 of them, but circumstances on both of our parts led to a temporary situation in which I had to move to another state. That being said- It's maybe worth noting that we were LDR BEFORE those 5 years too, so we've done this dance before. Our relationship by no means has any crazy issues! We have our spats and disagreements and whatnot but ultimately we absolutely love each other and are looking forwards to aligning our lives again.

That being said, this is one of those spats.

Okay, so. For starters. I've been a fan of this band since I was like 12. I'm in my mid-twenties now. So well over a decade! Since the very beginning of our relationship I've raved about this band and practically worshipped it, yadda yadda. Suffice to say, my partner, who wasn't exactly anything more than a "I've heard a few songs" listener before, ended up getting dragged along the way. It wasn't immediate by any means, it took some time. But it was worth it! Now I had my lover enjoying the same music as me! I'm not TOO much of a gatekeeper (I really try to NOT be anyway, but sometimes it's a little hard when you're so passionate about something, you know?) but I can't help but staple that big fat sign on the wall here that says "I AM A SUPER FAN. HE JUST GOT INTO THEM LIKE! TWO YEARS AGO!!!".

So. LDR means we don't get the same benefits and whatnot. Especially because he lives in the city up north, and I'm in a little hobbit hole in the south. This band goes on tour for the first time in years and of course... The closest venue to me is hours away. And costs a fortune. I can't make it. I spend my time wallowing and weeping and moping this devastating news; LAMENTING my woe to my partner. He sympathizes. And then. Then.

Why, they're going to be playing practically next door to him. Too bad it costs way too much right?

A month later, I'm still a little bent out of shape that my dream band is probably on their last tour and I spent a decade dreaming of them having a reunion I thought they never would to begin with, and that I'd get to see them.... And I don't get to go. I honestly felt like I let a teenage me down after a hell of a childhood. But that's another monkey for another circus or whatever the phrase is.

Partner has something he has to tell me. He got tickets. With his friends. Who also weren't particularly fans, and, drumroll please...... Don't really like me too much. I implode. The level of unfair I felt was astronomical. I felt robbed, honestly. I still do, because the concert hasn't even happened yet and I have to sit here another few months in agonized anticipation that my partner is going to see MY SPECIAL BAND without me... With a group of people who don't like me! It feels like the Ides of fucking March! I explained to him with as much level-headedness as possible how I felt, and that if our roles were reversed, I would not have gone to HIS favorite band's concert without HIM. That's an experience I owe to him, I feel like! I wouldn't want him to ever feel as put out and jealous and hurt as I do!

To which his response has been something consistent of: "I can't help how you feel. You should be happy for me. You're making ME feel bad about going, and I want to enjoy it." And various other formats of a semi-snarky toned "I'm doing this whether you like it or not and you should stop making me feel guilty."

I'm not sitting here berating him, don't get me wrong. I'm not going "FUCK YOU FUCK YOU DIE I HATE YOU HOW DARE YOU." But... Sometimes I think a teenage me in my soul does sort of feel like that when I think about it. I don't think I've really relayed what this band means to me, but when I say it's important to me, I really, really really mean it's important to me. Not going myself was devastating to begin with, but now I feel torn up inside because someone I love dearly is going with other people to see the very-special-to-me band I introduced him to.

Am I wrong for feeling this way? Extra points to anyone who offers some advice on how to make my brain maybe tone it back a little regardless of wrong or right feelings.