Okay, so I (F/26) have a roommate (F/25) and we share food sometimes, but there's never really been an issue about it before. It’s been understood that snacks are okay to share but to be fair we haven’t specifically clarified what’s fair game and what is personal in regards to food.

Last night, we had a "girls' night" where I bought wine, charcuterie, and candy. We didn’t finish the charcuterie, so I put the leftovers in the fridge for me to eat the next day. Keep in mind she makes 3x the amount I do and she is often eating out and rarely buys groceries. I intentionally budget so I don’t have to spend money eating out. I would say 90% of the food in the fridge and pantry right now is mine.

This morning, I wake up to find that my roommate took the leftover charcuterie with her to a business meeting. I was kind of annoyed because I didn’t think it was cool to just take food I’d specifically put away for me to eat the next day without asking.

I told her I was irritated, and her response was to bring up something I did three months ago where I ate her chips (which she had never mentioned as an issue before, like I said we’ve agreed that snacks can be shared).

I would like to think I’m an understanding person and if she had expressed that I’d upset her by eating them I would have immediately apologized and bought her more. I’m not understanding why I can’t be treated with the same respect, or why she can’t just take responsibility for making me upset and apologize. It doesn’t even have to be a big deal, and it’s less about the charcuterie and more about the way she’s behaving due to the conflict.

I can totally see how I might be TA because there’s never been clear boundaries on food, but I was really looking forward to eating the rest of the charcuterie and she doesn’t seem apologetic at all. It’s like she’s trying to shift the blame onto me so she doesn’t have to take responsibility for her actions, which is lowkey becoming a pattern for her.

I offered to buy her more chips to make up for it, but now I feel like she's just deflecting the blame because she knows I'm irritated with her. The chips were never an issue until I became upset with her. Am I being unreasonable here? Was I out of line to be annoyed about the charcuterie?

TL;DR: Roommate took leftover food I put in the fridge without asking, then deflected by bringing up something I did months ago that she previously had no issue with. AITA for being upset?