So here’s the situation. A friend of mine had been crushing on this guy for a while and eventually told him how she felt. His response was pretty respectful he said he wasn’t looking for a relationship right now and needed to work on himself, but that he was open to being friends.

A week or so later, she started getting frustrated. She felt like he wasn’t putting in any effort to hang out or talk, and she mentioned that he was always hanging out with “those blonde girls,” which bothered her. She brought that up to him, and he explained that he doesn’t hang out with girls one-on-one something he does as a personal boundary and that when he’s seen with those girls, it’s because he’s invited to group things, not because he initiates anything.

Despite that, she kept pushing for them to hang out. He continued to say he wasn’t comfortable with one-on-one hangouts, but she felt like since they’re “working on being friends,” that meant he should be spending time with her and making more of an effort. It started to come off like she believed he owed her hangouts because of that friendship label, and that’s where the tension really started building.

After that conversation with him, she came to me and asked for advice. She said she was feeling confused, frustrated, and a little hurt, and she specifically asked me to be honest with her about whether she was overthinking or overstepping.

So I responded with what I thought was a kind but honest take. I said something like:

“I think you might be overthinking this a bit… and I say this as kindly as I can and just how it comes across to me.

I get where you’re coming from and I know you’re feeling frustrated, but it seems like you might be overstepping a little. It kind of comes across like you’re upset that he’s spending time with other girls, and bringing that up might give off the wrong impression.

Just because he said you’re friends doesn’t mean he owes you hangouts and it sounds like you’re using the idea of friendship to push for more time with him, which feels a little off. He also made his boundaries clear about not hanging out one-on-one with girls, and that’s something worth respecting.

She replied with just “OK” and hasn’t talked to me since. It’s been a month. I later heard through mutual friends that she was really upset and thought I could’ve phrased things more gently. I genuinely thought I had been gentle she asked for honesty, and I gave it. I didn’t call her out or belittle her, I just shared how the situation came off from the outside.

So now I’m wondering… AITA for giving my honest opinion when asked, or did I actually cross a line with how I said it?