Hey people of reddit, I'm here to vent and possible have a some kind of outside perspectives. Let me introduce myself, I'm Aliyah (fake name) 20 f , college student. I don't live in the states, I'm from an asian country. I'm only child to my parents and growing up with them pretty tense for me.

For context, my parents let's call them Shawn (60m) and Shelly (50f) are helicopter parents, my teachers, peers, councilors and many others had talk with them regarding this but nothing changed. Being an only child all attention of my parents was on me, Especially my mother, she is a stay at home mom as well. My father who was once married before, no children from previous marriage isn't too involved in parenting like my mother . But I'm scared to death by them.

My mother Shelly, is a person who wants her off spring to be the perfect child, she wanted me to get straight A's, win every competition, be woman like, be perfect in all ways. I on the other hand wasn't like that, tho I had good grades, it was never enough for my mother. I loved to play sports and used to play basketball and volleyball since I was a tall kid was always choose for this more than dancing or singing... this made my mother quite angry, she does like it... if I got a bad grade or could remember something she used to beat on my head with broom stick or beat me with anything she could find, until I turn black, blue or purple. Once I accidentally spill milk ,in front of my friend who had came for a play date, my mother started to beat in front of her only stopped when my friend started crying. She told her parents and that day onwards I lost her as my friend.

My father even after seeing me getting beaten for somethings never stood up for me. He said I deserved this, I sometimes believe I do as well, my boyfriend, my friends and teachers says otherwise but I'm not sure sometimes. He was basically used as a threat by my mother, since I'm scared I was always hiding from them how I feel.

Whenever I speak to them of how I feel, they bring up the fact I'm so much hard to look after, I'm a crazy kid who doesn't appreciate them, keep saying about my father's struggle to provide me and raise me... they don't care how I feel, even after having to take me to hospital due to anxiety and depression. To them I never gonna be enough. They hate my boyfriend, they call his family and talked badly saying racist things but then his parents has only been nice to me but my friends distance themselves and I feel like I'm getting closed in by many walls.

My mother used to compare me to this girl, Let's call her Kelly for now, Kelly was opposite of what I am, she the perfect child she never had to mu mother. Every morning I was told me like her until we moved away when I was 12, our families cut contact with each other... until then I was walking in egg shells.

The School life for me wasn't easy as well, I was bullied by seniors and classmates, teachers always made me feel weak, bully me, and say things that did not happened to my parents knowing how my parents would react. I used to be scared to go home, because I knew beating, shouting or humiliation was waiting for me or some days I get sugar coated mother.

I feel a lot of emotions and i know even my boyfriend has a limit to hearing my vent... I'm scared he will push me away too like my friends. I'm scared, I don't know what to do, so people of reddit please help in this situation, I'm longer in a good mindset to think properly. I'm the bad child or what do you think I should do?