So I(f29) have a group or girl friends for a long time. One of them, M(f30), is tall and on the bigger side. I had two cars, a small sportive car and a toyota suv for years. If we're going out as a group then I take my toyota and M can is more comfortable in the back and only one person can fit with her, but if I'm going alone or picking up just one friend then I'm taking the small car. Over the years the other friends rode with me at least once in the small car but I never offered the same to M because I knew she couldn't fit or at least would be very uncomfortable. A couple of weeks ago my husband got me a new small car and it's even smaller, lower and trickiest to get into. Last Sunday we had a mini celebration lunch for other reasons and my husband and I invited por closest friends. One of my husbands friends asked to see my new car and M and a couple of other people came to the garage too. I showed it off, did a broom broom and we went back to the party. We were having a good time, we weren't even talking about the car anymore but then M asked, loudly and in front of everyone, why I didn't gave her a ride in mi small cars like I did with other friends. I didn't want to embarrass her so I said "well the occasion never came and I don't drive them as often" . She then said that she wanted a ride around the neighbourhood. People were looking at her and I could see them doing the math in their heads, but M didn't get it and insisted so I told her "okay but only you" to make sure no one would go to the garage with us.

We went to the garage and I told her to pick one and she chose the new one (the smallest). It was not pretty, she got stuck a couple of times and ended up crawling backwards to try but couldn't fit. She gave up on it and asked to try the other one. It was easier to get into the other car but the door couldn't close without grabbing and moving her belly, and her body was touching the the touch dashboard and spilling into the gear shift and we couldn't use the seat belt. We tried and tried but it was impossible. M ended up crying and told me I was trying to humiliate her, I'm the worst and more and I told her something along the lines of "This is what I was avoiding for years, we can go back and tell everyone I have been drinking or I can drive the car alone and she could stay here so we can pretend we went together" and she cried even more and told me I embarrassed her on purpose and that I was bodyshaming her so I snapped and told her that I was actually trying to find a solution that wouldn't embarrass her even more. She got out of the car sobbing and went back to our friends, made a scene and one of them had to take her home. I did not tell her she was too big to fit, I just let her try it herself.

Then, after the party she almost ruined, I saw that she left this message in the gc "OP fat shamed me and tried her best to embarrass me in front of everyone so we are no longer friends and you should be careful with her too". I sent back " M I didn't shame you, didn't embarrass you and tried to avoid this situation for years and I'm sorry I hurt you but you were the one who insisted". Two of the other friends reached out for details and I told them that I knew she wouldn't fit and that's why I avoided giving her a ride for years but she insisted in public so I let her try and when she couldn't fit in them she freaked out. I didn't tell them about the embarrassing parts like crawling backwards, the literally grabbing to move the belly, all the farts or that the body of the cars were millimeters away from touching the ground. Apparently these friends tried to talk to her and she sent one private message before blocking me:" thank you for embarrassing me even more". I have been feeling guilty for the whole week but now I'm getting mad because I tried to protect her feelings. Maybe I should have addressed the issue before we got into this position but I was trying to protect her feelings and she didn't waste time to lie to our friends about me and about what happened. I don't think I was bodyshaming her but she is telling everyone I did and now I'm not sure if I'm in the right about being mad or not.