To start, I would say I have a good home life, and nobody but my own overthinking self is concerned about this, BUT I am, so... Please tell me if I'm going crazy. My brother has always been exstreamly smart, I would say a full genius, always being praised for it. At around 8 grade though, he started lashing out, fighting with our parents, being a... Rude person in nice words. Our family was in a tough spot for a few years, and is only (kinda) healing now. Well, his grades had also started dropping, and other things happened that are more personal. But because he was always the issue, I didn't want to make my parents more stressed so I would keep my head down and learned to be ok with not being the top priority, because he needed help. But I also got used to being thanked for being so nice and calm, never speaking out, I was the good child. Well, now he's been doing better, not perfect, but does what's asked without hour long fights, grades up, all that. And at the very same time, I've been struggling more in school. I always found school remotely easy, but it's been getting hard recently. And suddenly, boom. I feel almost angry, but just sad. I understand I have no reason to feel this way, and I'm happy he's doing good again, but I got so used to being the one who was doing good, not causing problems. I've tried so damn hard to become the easy to talk to, calm, clean room, good grades, perfect kid for them, and in a few weeks/days he's just there? It hurts because I'm not exstridinary at anything like he is, I'm back in his shadow, did I just let myself get to used to being important? The one thing I had running for me was being the "good" kid, and I think my identity got to wrapped up into it, and now he's got that running for him too? ATIA for being jealous? For thinking this way? I feel like a horrible person. I know I'm probably just the insecure golden child, but I don't want to be that, I want to have a good relationship with my siblings, and so I don't understand why I'm feeling this way.