I (21F) and my husband (23M) met three years ago and have been married for a year. We met on the day his sobriety started. When I was 17, I was walking home from an after school football club, when I saw him slumped on the ground, unconscious. I performed first aid from what I could remember from workshop I had at school and stayed beside him the entire time until the ambulance arrived. I didn't see him again until a couple months later when I was 18. He ended up meeting the day he became three months sober and we became friends… time passed and now we are married.

We started the day he became sober. So for him, it's one of the things that make him want to keep his sobriety and I love him so much for it. Even though he has been able to maintain his sobriety for three years, being around alcohol for him has always been a struggle. Because of this, we typically avoid places that have a lot of alcohol. We don't go to the club and he doesn't want to go out with friends when they want drinks at times.

Just yesterday, his friend invited him and I over to his house. We of course went, and when we arrived, a bunch of his friends were there as well as some others we haven’t met. The first half an hour of the evening was pretty cool until they decided to leave the house to get some food. However, when his brother's friends came back, they had food, but they also had a bunch of alcohol. I looked over at my husband and immediately I could tell, he was uncomfortable, but he was trying to hide it. His friends are aware of his struggles around alcohol, and usually tell him beforehand if they do decide to bring it, but this time they didn't.

I whispered to him asking if he was okay and he said yes, so I took his word for it. Even though in that moment I wanted to pull him away, we've had conversations where he would at least try to be in setting where alcohol is present. We both believe that it’s okay to face your triggers and challenge it.

We all ate together and watched them have their booze with no major issues. Despite a bit of discomfort that he was able to shake away , my husband was doing really throughout the night… until one of them thought it would be funny to pop a bottle and INTENTIONALLY got it on everyone, including the both of us. The both of us were drenched in champagne and my heart dropped. I was so shocked that he would even think that was a good idea. Everything was going so well until that happened.

This triggered my husband immediately as he stood up and yelled at the guy for what he did before storming off. I grabbed a paper towel and started wiping the alcohol out of my clothes before his other friend yelled at me, telling me that my husband was fucking crazy. I was mad about the situation because the guy who yelled at me was actually one of my husband's long-time friends, so I thought he would be at least a bit understanding about the situation.

I told him calmly that his friend should not have not sprayed it on us, especially knowing how my husband feels about it. His friend just started yelling at me saying that I was the reason why he reacted like that. I was offended and confused so I asked him what he meant by that. He said that I constantly shut him away from everyone who drinks alcohol. That I don't let him hang out with his friends anymore and that I am too strict about his sobriety and very controlling.

I was shocked that he thought I was the reason why my husband doesn't hang around them as much anymore. The reason why my husband doesn't is because they go to the bar most the time. They're constantly in settings where alcohol is around, so of course my husband isn't going to attend their gatherings as much as they would like. I told him this and he called bullshit.

I wanted to argue more but he was also very drunk at this point so arguing about this with him was pointless.

I left downstairs and went upstairs to my husband who was in the bathroom washing the alcohol of his clothes. I told him “let's go” and we immediately left the house. We sat in the car for a bit and he told me that he was so sorry for the way he reacted and felt so guilty. I told him that I still loved him, it was not his fault and that we should head home.

We decided to sleep on the entire situation the second we got into the house, but when he unlocked his phone, he saw that his friends were blowing up his phone with messages saying that I was too controlling and that he needed some time away from me and that the old him would've never reacted like that. He left them on read and we went to sleep.

It's the next day, and I have calmed down a from the fiasco a bit, but I honestly don't know how to feel. My husband tells me that I'm not controlling and he loves me for doing so much for him. But part of me is overthinking. There are times where I recommend that he doesn’t go out with his friends to the clubs late at night because I’m scared of what could happen but I don’t think that’s controlling. I’ve always seen that as expressing my concerns but I would never force him to do anything.

So, AITA?