I (F 21) have a beautiful cat called Silas (M 2). I love him to pieces. I cannot state enough how much I love this cat. He is the first pet I've ever had that's genuinely mine and not the family pet. He's 4kg, black as night, indoor only (with supervised outside time on the days where I'm not wrecked after work) and quite skittish when there are too many people around. My family knows this, they have met him several times and I talk about how devastating outdoor cats are on native species all the time. I also live in a 2 acre property with my fiance (M 27) where about 1 acre of it is just blueberries, blackberries and raspberries from it being a berry farm. It is my mums (F 41) second property and we are renting it until we have enough to buy a house. My nan (F 66) and my pop (M 59) live just around the corner from me, not even a 5 minute drive. Please keep in mind, these two are my MUMS parents.

Just last night, after having spent the majority of the day cooking brunch and setting up an Easter egg hunt for my family as I wanted the family to be together for Easter, my partner and I came home, got changed into slippers and comfy clothes, just to find that my mums goats and sheep that live with us had gotten out of a temporary fenced off area in the front yard. They'd originally been brought up to eat down the berry plants in the orchard as we hadn't been able to keep up with maintanence due to work schedules however they kept escaping from the fenced, and netted, area of the property with the orchard. We tried to herd them back in, however, some ran at me and one even used me as leverage to jump over my shoulder. Safe to say, it hurt like hell.

My partner managed to round up most however one got out on to the main road after having jumped on me to get over me again. Same spots as the first time. I do now have several big bruises. It got out on to the main road and I chased trying to herd it back to our place. I called my nan, my pop and my dad (M 47, who was staying with them this weekend) to come and help me. We chased it up and down the town, up and down steep hills, into and out of private property (thankfully most of the town knows my grandparents and no property damage had been done). I ended up calling my step dad (M 50) and mum to help as well since my nan isnt that sprite and it had dodged all of us by going past her several times.

We finally managed to get the sheep back after 2 1/2 hours of running up and down and my partner counted that all sheep and goats were there. My nan needed to use the toilet at this point so I pointed her towards the front door as the door that leads straight into our bedroom had my cats cat tower in front of it since birds tend to land outside there and he enjoys watching them. I ended up needing the stronger torch she had to help double check the number of animals there and I wanted to thank her for helping us. However when I got inside, I glimpsed the front door and noticed it was left WIDE open. I freaked the fuck out. I ran around all the house looking for him and I couldnt find him, not even a peep. I was sobbing, hyperventilating and freaking out over how she couldnt close the fucking door. Its a heavy door, it closes really loudly, she should've known.

She's trying to defend herself saying she didnt know, but all I could think that if this was her house, she'd be PISSED if I let her cat INSIDE without her knowing as its not allowed on any furniture. I collapsed on the ground balling my eyes out, wailing, because my cat is black, not wearing a collar, out at night. we live right next to the towns main road, we get heaps of nasty possums in our area and theres a stray cat issue up here. He is microchipped but if some one saw him on the road, they'd awesome he's a stray and run him over. Thats how my family lost 4 cats in the past as they were also outdoor cats. I promised myself Id never let him out of my sight while outside. I was terrified for the safety of my beloved baby. Everyone else has gone to look for him in the orchard and other areas.

I found him when he came out from under the bungalow right near him because I saw his eyes reflect from a light behind me. I grabbed him and cried and cried because I genuinely thought I almost lost him. I called the others and told them I found them. I didnt see anyone before they got their car to go home. I think they were avoiding me. Not long after, my mum, stepdad and sister (F 16) showed up to help with some wire. We had to run around some more as they lost it off the back of the ute coming up to us, but otherwise the night ended about there.

My mum says I shouldnt blame my nan as she "couldnt have known Silas was an indoor cat." Mind you, my mum constantly complains about my nan acting the victim and now she's actively defending her for an impressively incompetent thing she did. Im unsure of my stepdad and sisters stance. My partner also thinks my nan was incredibly stupid, not just for letting my cat out, but for also just generally leaving our front door open regardless. My dad hasnt made a comment but Im sure he wont; he's a conflict avoidant type and I already know he'll side with them over me. I just.. It was terrifying thinking my cat got outside and could've ended up maimed or lost or killed. Everyone else has just been too okay with the idea that 'cats always find their way home,' but Ive had my cat since he was a kitten. He's never been an outdoor cat and he gets scared if the wind blows to hard when he peaks through the door when Im coaxing him out for outside time.

Now this morning, I woke up to a big long text from my nan saying (paraphrasing sections of it), "Last nights performance was the last straw. We rushed straight away to help you chase the sheep... didnt even get a thank you... Then the ridiculous carry on over a cat.. Perhaps you shouldve checked inside before you accused... Still without a thank you... I never hear from you, you never visit but you love going all the way to (town name) to see YiaYia.. Ive done so much for you all your life and dont get a pinch of respect. You complain endlessly about your mother but go there all the time. Bewildering!.. Dont respond.. I doubt you'll ignore your bad behaviour. Im furious at you and wont put up with it anymore."

It was not a performance. I love that cat. I would die and kill for my cat. He is my world. Of course I was upset. Of course I checked inside for him. Of course I didnt thank her for helping with the sheep once I saw the door open; I went into panic mode. I know it seems like I gave up early but I was distraught. I was shaking and hyperventilating. Of course I wasnt going to thank her afterwards either for being the REASON my cat got outside. I dont see her because she's exhausting to be around and Im a young adult with my own life, trying to make my own way, balancing night and evening shifts with a world that runs during the day, live my life while trying to save for a house; of course she's not a priority right now. Yes, I love going to see my YiaYia but I dont actually see her that often. My fiance's parents live near my YiaYia and we still hardly see them either because of our busy schedules. I respected her before I grew up and realised how manipulative she was; she had told me she might as well k*ll herself at one point because my siblings and I didnt visit her often enough and she had no friends. I wonder why that is. Yes, I complain about my mum sometimes. We all do. I still see her because she's my mum though and I love her and she's less insufferable than my nan.

I screenshotted the message she sent to me and sent it on to my dad, mum, sister, my best mate and partner. My partner is fucking flabbergasted at the audacity. My best mate responded with "WTF, she needs to be put in a home." The rest of them havent said a word. Ive blocked my nan on socials, blocked her number too. I took my location off on the family Life360 because I dont want her seeing where I am at any given time. I unadded my pop as well but his number isnt blocked.

I just... I dont know. I dont know what to do. Im not sure what to say or feel other than enraged. Am I The Asshole in this situation?

TLDR: Family got together to help herd stray sheep back home. Nan needed to use the loo. I saw that she left the door open and panicked looking for my cat. He's black, no collar (he is microchipped and registered though), and it was the dead of night. Sobbed thinking we wouldnt find him as he's skittish with lots of people around. Found him when he came out from under the bungalow because the light reflected off his eyes. Didnt see anyone before they left because I was inside crying and holding my cat. Nan sent a nasty loaded message the next day (which I screenshotted and sent on to eveyone else), Mum thinks I overreacted, Dad and sister havent responded however my fiance was as furious as I was upset and my best mate thinks 'my nan needs to be put in a home.' Blocked my nan on socials and blocked her number. I dont know what to do or think or say to anyone to get them to at least consider my point of view here. AITA?