For context I'm f 28 and he, M 38.

My 2-year-old cat is currently in the hospital for an obstruction, and while doing tests they also discovered a heart issue that makes surgery risky. She’s staying overnight at the second emergency vet hospital because the first didn't have the proper equipment.

She’s incredibly special to me — she’s like my little shadow. I’ve had her for just under a year and a half, and we’re very bonded. We used to go hiking together (she rides in a backpack), and I call her the jewel of my eye. This has been terrifying for me, especially because I’ve recently had my own health issues after COVID, including developing seizures, which has left me more emotionally sensitive and vulnerable than I used to be. She's like my comfort animal or my child. She's my other half.

My boyfriend has helped drive me and my cat to multiple vet appointments, including the emergency transfers. I’m grateful for that, but during all of this, he’s been making comments that honestly just feel cruel. Things like:

“I don’t get why you’re crying so much"

“You’re ruining the night — I could be gaming or chilling instead.”

"Your overly sensitive and emotional, you aren't built like me. You can't handle anything."

He made what he called "jokes" about her being sick, one saying "let her die" which didn’t feel like jokes at all.

When I broke down in tears after hearing how risky surgery is, he barely showed empathy and didn’t want to go inside the hospital with me the second or third time. Not until he had to.

When I cry or show emotion, he says I’m being “psycho” or “crazy.” "overreacting"

I haven’t been myself lately because I’m devastated. I’ve been crying a lot but finally started calming down. I don’t feel up to hanging out, gaming, or acting like everything is normal — my cat is still in a life-threatening situation. He is obviously still here and we watched a few shows that I actual showed some interest in till it ended then I started having ADHD with all this on my mind couldn't focus past or after that. I just wanted to decompress, half focus on things and breath. But he keeps implying I’m overreacting and bringing the mood down, all the while he's btw addicted to tiktok, and spends all the time on there even if we watch shows.

I feel like I’m being emotionally invalidated and disrespected during one of the scariest moments of my life. But then I feel guilty — he has helped drive me around, and he says he wishes her well. Maybe I’m just too emotional? Is it my ADHD or seizures that make me feel so over connected with my best friend (my cat) am I the asshole and thing the mood?

AITA for being upset with him kinda now too, and not wanting to brush this off as “just jokes”? Or a normal comforting reaction even though he's done the bare minimum. He's stormed off my bedroom now, and is demanding his own time, and how he doesn't want to be downstairs with me because I'm crazy and a downer. he doesn't live here so he could've just left if he feels I've bothered or upset his whole life and day like this. He also got upset when I was explaining to my father what was going on, and kept interrupting and getting events wrong so I'd have to correct my bf in front of my father who also loves this cat to death, so he wouldn't worry, where my bf then say as an attack by correcting them and getting frustrated at him for getting things backwards or for trying to explain what he thinks the vet said.

update: she's not doing much better, she still has something stuck in her. Next step is an ultrasound, since the scope didn't bring all of it up, and they still don't know what it is, whether foreign or natural. But surgery still is on the table but they are hoping not because of heart heart murmur. While the 'bf' whose supposed to be the most supportive person in my life, is just giving silent treatments, and well all the same as down below. But tbh now I just don't think he's capable of it. And I'm literally disgusted and done with him. And that isn't my concern anymore. My cat is.