Bit of a backstory; my GF has CPTSD. I've known this from the beginning, we've been together 6 years. One thing she can't handle is being woken up because she doesn't always know where she is until her service dog comes up to her. So I hear her alarm go off, I hear her talking to her SD. So I'm guessing she's alert. I open her door a bit and say "Hey GF it's (my name) can I come in?". I can't hear what she says exactly so I open it a little more and say "I didn't hear you. It's (me).

Here's where it gets hard for me. She yells, tells me about the danger of not letting her know it's me and she could have shot me. I tell her sorry. Thought she knew, i heard her talking, she doesn't always speak clearly. She tells me to slap myself as hard as I can because the pain will help me remember how dangerous I was being. At this point she's triggered, screaming, I do it. She says "harder, do it again so you know never to do it again I could have killed you". I do it. I'm crying because I'm afraid and anxious. She says "now get the f out of my room" and she goes back to sleep.

SO. Am I TA for waking her in a way i probably shouldn't have, for triggering her, and for being upset for all that mess that happened afterward? It's hard for me to navigate what's Her and what's the trauma.