I (16m) know I sound 100% like the asshole just from the tile, but there is some context. I love my mom but she can be a bit disrespectful (not saying that I deserve respect from my parents). I guess a better way to describe it is that my mom always acts superior and likes to always brush of my opinions and feelings (again not wrong but it kinda hurts being shut down 24/7).

For my birthday, I didn't ask for much as if I wanted something I could buy it myself. I planned a little get together with my friends at a restaurant and we just hung out and bought food and other things while driving around the city until late night. I got a few small gifts even though I didn't ask them for anything so that was nice. The only person I asked for a gift was my mom (might sound a little bad lol).

My work requires semi-formal attire and somehow baggy jeans fit that requirement. I have two pairs of baggy jeans at the moment, and I am looking to buy another as it is tiring having to constantly wash my two baggy jeans just to have something to wear to work (I don't have other jeans and the only other option is for me to wear actual dress pants to work).

My mom was nagging me on what she should get me even though I constantly denied needing a gift, so I just decided to ask her to buy me some baggy jeans. I showed her some "cheap" baggy jeans off of H&M that looked nice and were on sale or something for $30.

On my birthday, I returned home at around 11:30pm and was pleasantly surprised by my family and a cake. It was nice seeing some farther away family, and I got some small things like gift cards. But, when I opened my mom's gift, I received a giant SAT prep book. (I might sound like an asshole here) I didn't show any disappointment and decided to bring it up tomorrow.

Here is definitely where I'm questioning if I am the asshole. The morning after my birthday, I hear my mom in the living room and she's on the phone and pissed. I decided to wait for her to cool down so I just went and did my chores. I cleaned the house and made breakfast for my family (I do all the cooking and cleaning) and she was still pissed even though 2 hours had passed. She was still in a bad mood 5 hours later as I made lunch for my family, she came in as I was washing the dishes and dropped her dirty plates in the sink and stormed off. I was a bit tired of waiting and decided just to talk with her about it then (I also probably was the asshole here for not waiting for her to calm down).

Luckily for me, her bad mood was just lingering a tiny bit and wasn't as bad as in the morning. My mom was watching the TV, and I just came in and quietly asked if the SAT prep book could be returned and the money be used to buy a new pair of jeans for me (I know that's major disrespect and I was being a bitch by asking this but it had no use to me). I was scared for her response, and rightfully so.

My mom lost her mind and beat the shit out of me with the TV remote she had in her hand and beat me again because she was angry the TV remote broke (lol). After beating me, she yelled at me for a long time and I was just seething and trying to hold it in. I was definitely the asshole here as I should never raise my voice, but I yelled at her and said "You never listen to my opinions or consider my fucking feelings!" (I know, 100% out of line). She promptly beat the shit out of me again with whatever she could find and took everything I had and threw away the SAT book.

I just cried in my room for a while and only got up because I had to make dinner for the family and clean the house and dishes. I don't know why Asian moms do this, but she practically beat me everytime she saw me in the house again for the rest of the day because she was still angry.

For a little more context on why I didn't like the gift, the main thing was I didn't ask for it. Another thing was it was 3x the price of what I asked for and I felt it unnecessary. Next, it was outdated and a lot of the tips didn't help in the online SAT as they were rendered useless by Desmos or just didn't apply, etc. The last thing is that I genuinely don't need anything of the sort. I'm a sophomore and have held the number one spot in my grade/graduating class rankings since freshman year by a really big margin. I got a 1520 on the practice SAT this year, and to top it off a lot of my junior friends (like 5) are handing me their SAT prep books that are actually modern and apply to the current digital SAT and my mom knows about this.

I know I said I was the asshole in some parts (I was), but I feel like overall I'm not 100% in the wrong and may not be the asshole here. I really need some input as I fucked up and want to know if im the problem. I've always been a bad kid and still am, and am wondering if I should apologize given I might be the asshole. (Also sorry for any typos or grammatical errors, I'm in a rush and my fingers are a bit swollen because my mom smashed them into my living room table with the TV remote).

Edit:

I've cooled down a bit from my fit of anger and want to clear some things up. For those who think this is fake, go ahead, I don't really know what would make it seem fake but I can provide context if needed in the comments. First, I love cooking and I wanted to get that out of the way. Cooking for my family is a choice I made to take the burden off of my really hardworking parents as my mom who works at home doesn't have enough time to really cook. I also do this for my siblings as I want them to be able to eat proper meals (no shade to my mom) and not freezer or really simple meals. Nex9t, keeping the house spotless is a big thing in my house and in Asian houses. I don't know about others, but my family holds high standards of cleanliness and I clean because I obviously have to clean up after my cooking. My family also cleans daily and since my mom works it's just me and my little siblings who don't really help much. It may seem like a lot but since my entire family cleans up after themselves and value such, I only really have to clean for about an hour AT MOST. Next, MY MOM IS NOT ABUSIVE. Please don't assume that. I was angry when I wrote this and I blew the PHYSICAL DISCIPLINE (not abuse or beating) out of proportion to try and paint my mom in a worse fashion. The TV remote was in her hand but think of it like how people use belts for discipline. She didn't "beat the shit out of me" she physically disciplined me. I have no bruises or swellings. Also, she ACCIDENTALLY smashed my fingers while slamming her hands on the coffee table and getting up off the couch. She actually recently apologized for that (not the rest of the discipline lol) and that's why I actually decided to come back and do an edit. I also wanted to add that I did nag my mom by asking her 3 times in like 5 minutes to return the book and that she was more angry about her already bad mood, the nagging, and her idea that i didn't value the gifts given to me. Yes, I do more chores than average but it's a personal choice and no my mom isn't abusive and is usually awesome. For those who read this, consider the edit and overlook our family tradition/habit as well as the physical discipline and tell me if i'm the asshole. Thanks for the concern!