Edit: I say blowing up but its more like disowning Context: I am the youngest of 3, 18F, my sisters are 23F, who I’ll call Zee and 27F whom I’ll call Bob. Zee has 3 exes who are 26M (#1), 24M (#2) and another 26M (#3). Yes, somehow they all contribute to my story. I have listed them in chronological order and will refer to them by number.

My sister, Zee lives in TX to go to school while me, Bob and our Mom live at home still. This past week it was my birthday that coincides with my sister’s break. I’ll go chronologically by day.

Friday: She came home as a surprise for my birthday! I cannot lie I was a little apprehensive because she gets a certain way, like she believes shes better. I was right though, she scolded us for how we continued to live, which I guess our home is quite messy. How we didn’t help our Mom when she made a mess of the kitchen- A lot of the time my Mom has her own meals and we have ours, its very every man for themself. Both me and Bob were like, she’s a grown woman, she can clean her own mess. She will literally cook one thing and use an inordinate amount of dishes, so no, we’re not gonna use our time cleaning up after her. Zee was like oh I’d help and told us we should get therapy and how she felt she had emotionally matured past us. Bob responded that it’s easier for her to say those things when she doesn’t actively live here anymore.

Saturday: In the morning, Zee went to see #1 at his work. For context they dated in highschool, Zee was around 14-15 while #1 was 17-18. Their relationship abruptly ended when he was arrested and went to jail for what we years later found out was CSA. he victimized his younger cousin. But she went to see him at work to truly speak after years, though they had light contact in recent months. I thought it was weird but tried to be understanding of their relationship’s end. Zee comes back and says she feel’s like a weight has been lifted. She said he kissed her and told her he’d pursue her but he has a girl. She said she told him to never contact her again or come around our home as to not make her family uncomfortable. I thought ok and that was the end of it.

Later in the day, we’re getting ready for a concert we had been planning to, not necessarily a formal concert but a college one. I come into her room to ask if I should get ready, she’s on a phone call with #3 the one that also lives in TX. When she hangs up the phone she tells him she loves him. (I am confused they are still in contact because she did cheat on him. She initially told Bob and I that it was just a kiss in a bar but later admitted it was a one night stand.) I feel bad for him, but I almost don’t at the same time cause he knows she did that. We get ready and go to the concert. We return 2-3 hours later. When we get home she says, #1 texted her that he wants to see her again and #2 texted her he heard shes in town. Later that night she leaves to go see him.

For more context on their relationship, they had an apartment together. They broke up because Zee kissed his best friend in retaliation to finding that he bought OF and was looking to hire SWs. Their breakup was messy, within under an hour Bob had shown up with a rented moving truck and had taken her and her stuff back home.

Sunday: A normal day, with my Mom and Zee we attend a religious service then return home. Zee once again goes out to see #2, me and Bob start to complain to her she doesn’t want to spend time with us.

Monday: My birthday! For weeks I had a city trip planned, initially with me and Bob but I was happy Zee could now come too. Me and Zee have rooms right next to one another, Zee and Bob are sitting together as im in my own room doing my makeup. I hear Zee say, “Ugh, I hope it rains super hard so we can go home early.” To which Bob says, “Why would you say that? It’s OP’s birthday.” Hearing Zee pissed me off, I walk in her room and tell her she doesn’t have to come if she doesn’t want to and why’s she complaining when she knew these plans weeks in advance. She responded WITH SASS might I add, “How was I supposed to know about these plans?” Which shouldve, I know I talked about my excitement on the phone and mentioned it in the gc with the 3 of us.

The whole trip, she’s complaining how shes exhausted, that she wants to go home, being snappy with me out of irritation to which i respond damn ok. I find her snappiness especially annoying because when I get like that she makes it a big deal. She’s even complaining as i’m taking a while to look around and shop. The most energy she had the entire day was when we were heading to the train to leave.

Overall though, I had a fun day. Bob made it good, she planned the trip and used her own money to take us all out. We all came home and did our own things for a while. Me and Bob were watching anime together and we invited Zee to hang out with us too. She said she needed her own time. I was just like ok cause she kept saying she was tired the whole day.

Later, she leaves again to go spend the night with #2.

Tuesday: Zee didn’t hang out with us AGAIN, but she did make yummy chicken parm. She left again to spend the night with #2.

Wednesday: Nothing of note, I don’t think I paid much attention to her today. I know she went out with an old friend then later somewhere else, though I didn’t ask.

Thursday (Worst day): I come home from school, go to Bob’s room. We both complain that Zee is being so weird, with the #2 stuff, her moral superiority behavior and not wanting to spend time with us at all basically. I go to Zee’s room to do the typical sibling bothering. She says shes going to walk to get pizza, I ask if I can come with. She says no and that she has a lot to think about from talking with her ex (she doesn’t specify, this could be any one of them so I hardly bat an eye) but asks me if I want a slice to which I agree. After she goes out the door im not paying attention of what’s happening outside, she says #1 left bread (he works at a bakery) i’m confused cause last I checked she explicitly told him don’t come to our house. But naively, I believe he just did that of his own accord. Though I begin to have my suspicions of her being with #1 when I check my phone and shes been at the pizza place longer than what you’d wait for a pizza. Long enough it was as if she was sitting down and eating, why would she do that alone? I’m already sure she’s with him by now.

She comes back and puts down the pizza, and I look outside BOOM #1 is standing there waiting for her. I say, who tf is that? Because who wants to believe your sibling willingly associates with someone like that, she nonchalantly, and quite slyly said “Oh, you know.” and quickly leaves.

At this point im livid, not only at her not spending anytime with us but the nonchalantness of willingly hanging out with someone who could commit those acts. She was codependent throughout her relationships with #1 and #2 to the point they essentially lived with us. I am not trying to make it about myself, but I spent a lot of time with #1 to the point he was like a brother to me. Finding out that when I was a child (8-9) I was unknowingly close to someone who committed CSA deeply disturbs me to my core. At times my sister would go to after school activities, he would remain in my house with me even alone. Though thankfully nothing occurred, but it shakes me up knowing it damn well could cause my whole family was pretty chill with him. It had confused me for years after his arrest why CPS had came to our house and asked me if he’d ever done anything to me or showed me pornography. So I’d say that was lowkey traumatizing.

So what was pressing my mind at this point was not only has she been consistently picking men over us, she’s picking a CSA in particular.

I am sobbing angry tears by this point and I don’t really know why I’m so upset. I sit in front of the front door for almost 2 hours in anger, intending to lock her out of the house. She had a key so I looking back what was really my plan. I just did not want her in the house. She’s unlocking it but I lock it again so now she knows something is up and shes forcing her way through the door. She’s like yelling why are you being like this? If you’re gonna be like this let me get my stuff I’ll just go to the airport. I lose the struggle as she out-weight classes me by like 70 pounds.

She gets in and I scream at her, something along the lines of, what the fuck is wrong with you, why would you willingly hang out with a child molester. i told her to just fucking leave. She once again does that sly, nonchalant, unbothered voice and just looks at me and says, “Why do you care?” then she goes to her room where she remained for the rest of the night. Her unbotheredness drove me more up the wall im ngl. I texted her some choice words which I’ll include.

So thats where we’re at right now. Bob supports me completely, I don’t think my Mom knows the extent of us clashing but I told her how crazy it was she was with #1 and she basically told me Zee is depressed so give her a pass. Im sorry but it’s not my belief mental illness should give her a pass. I can include ss those too. Funnily enough, after screaming at Zee to leave, that was like the one night she didn’t leave. I think im like 100% sure her therapist probably enables her.

edit: I cant put screenshots, just know i ended it saying she’s not my sister and to not come to my graduation.