I (27M) was in a relationship with Christina (26F) for almost three and a half years. We met through friends after we both moved to Asheville, North Carolina for work. Things between us were easy and comfortable. I honestly thought she was the person I’d spend the rest of my life with.

About a year and a half into the relationship I knew I wanted to propose. But I waited and wanted to get more stable financially and I thought it was fair to wait until I was ready.

After about two and a half years, I finally bought the ring and planned a quiet, personal proposal. I chose an old train station that had been turned into an art space — we had one of our first dates there. I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me. She started tearing up and said, “I love you, but I’m not ready.” She said she needed more time to feel sure about getting engaged

A full year passed. During that time we talked more about our future. She said things like, “I can’t imagine life without you” and “you’re the only one I see myself with.” So I thought we were getting closer to the same page.

This time, I planned something more romantic. I rented a quiet cabin by the lake — a place we loved visiting in the summer. I made dinner, had music and candles, and waited for the right moment. I proposed again.

She cried again. And again, she said, “Not yet.”

I asked her why, and she said the same thing — she just wants to be sure we’ll work out. I asked her, “If you’re still unsure after all this time, what will ever make you sure?”

That hurt more than the “no.” I told her I couldn’t keep waiting forever. I said I loved her, but I wasn’t going to stay in a relationship where I kept giving and waiting without knowing if she would ever say yes

She started crying harder and said, “Okay, fine, I’ll marry you, just don’t leave.” But that made things worse. It didn’t sound like love — it sounded like fear. Like she was only agreeing so I wouldn’t go

So I decided to leave

The next day I started getting texts from her, her mom, and some of our mutual friends. Some said I was being selfish and immature and that "she just needed more time" and I “threw away” something special. Others are staying out of it, just saying it’s sad how it ended

Now I’m wondering... did I act too fast? Should I have waited longer? Or was I right to walk away when she kept saying “not yet” after all this time?