Long time lurker, first time posting. I'm sorry if this is long, I'll try to summarize it.

My (31 female), dad (59 male) had a near death experience back in August 2024. He was in the hospital for over two weeks and ICU for about two days. When he was able to go back home the doctors said he could not be by himself and would need supervision. Me being the only one in the family at the time who had a hybrid job I volunteered to move in with them temporarily until he was well enough to be on his own. I made sure he took all his medications, made sure he made it from point A to point B and made his breakfast every morning. It was tough, my dad went from being completely independent, working, providing, and helping to being stuck on the couch for about 6 months. He gradually got better and regained his strength back more and more each day. I was still paranoid though, the second day back home I had to call an ambulance but thankfully was able to return home that same night. I started to get very depressed, the thought of losing my dad was too much. I cried a lot because I was so scared. It was also hard being away from home. My home is over two hours away and I was missing my boyfriend and my pets. I wanted to make sure my dad was well enough but I also wanted to go back home. For a while my SIL was able to watch my dad two days of the week so I could work at my office because I was going crazy being in the same place everyday…which made me feel guilty because how must my dad feel? I spent as much time with him as possible because I knew he was depressed not being able to do anything, go anywhere or even take a shower on his own. After about 6 months my dad was basically well enough he didn't need supervision anymore and was confirmed by his doctors that he can be on his own now. I felt guilty going home though, because then my dad will be alone all day while everyone is working. Hes on longterm disability so he hasnt worked simce August. I didn't want to leave, but I wanted to go home too. So I started texting my dad good morning texts, and some funny memes to let him know that I didn't abandon him, and that he wasn't alone. After a while things were looking up and I also went back on my antidepressants so I have been feeling better myself. I stopped sending good morning texts because my dad was in a much better state and was even able to drive again, however, now every night my dad sends a goodnight text to a group family text with me, mom, and my brothers 39 and 37 male. Keep in mind we never did this, we never sent constant texts saying goodnight or goodmorning before. I feel like my dad started that because he almost died, he's become much more…Im not sure what the right word is but maybe sensitive? And I don't mean that in a negative way. Me and my oldest bro hadn't responded two nights in a row but my second brother has been (he has two jobs and occasionally responds pretty late at night) and my dad responded singling him out and thanking only him for responding (even though I had responded every night since then). I hadn't responded because well, it was late, I'm relaxing, not really on my phone and then I just fell asleep. It hurt my feelings because it felt like he had forgotten all I had done for him all because I didn't say goodnight, which again, was never a thing in the family except when we all physically lived with each other growing up. I don't want to have to feel obligated to respond. It doesn't feel genuine to me and if he’s going to take it so personally I just don’t want to do it at all because it feels like he just wants a response, not to just say goodnight. Like he expects a response and if you don't, then you don't care.

Now to my mom. My parents, for as long as I can remember, always text each other when they arrive somewhere. But now my mom is doing this to me, and if i dont text her when i leave or when i arrive she will text me and ask me if i left/arrived yet. She's never mean or rude about it, but frankly, it's getting annoying because we never used to do this either and now I feel like a child again. She doesn't do this to my brothers, just me.

I left some details out because it would have been an even longer post. We also have the life360 app because the day my dad got sick he was driving and never made it work and so never texted my mom and that's basically how it started. With the app they can see when I arrive somewhere so i dont feel the need to have to let my mom know when I get to work when she gets a notification. And i have told her this too and she always says “oh yeah but i always forget). My parents have gone through a lot, financially and medically and I understand they want to be closer and make sure everyone is okay so ... .would I be the asshole if I tell them I do not want to have to say goodnight every night or update them on when I arrive somewhere?