I (mid-40s) quit drinking two years ago, and it’s been one of the best decisions I’ve made. My friends and family have been incredibly supportive. I’m very active in my community, which involves attending numerous social events, fundraisers, galas, dinners, etc. My social circle enjoys bar scenes and drinking events, and I regularly attend these gatherings.

In my sobriety journey, I’ve discovered drinking alternatives like kava, kanna, social tonics, adaptogens, and nootropics. These usually come in small beverage forms and are only available at niche grocers and online. So, before I go out, I stock up and take them with me to bars and events. Most of these venues have a no outside food or drink policy. I would buy these from the venues if they offered them, but as I mentioned, they’re quite niche. I’ve tried the corkage fee approach, but bartenders seem to dislike it, even when I tip them on top of the fee. Consequently, I’ve been discreetly bringing them with me and consuming them nonchalantly alongside my peers, usually without anyone noticing.

Last weekend, an acquaintance called me out in front of everyone, asking why I didn’t just buy a non-alcoholic option from the bar. They said sneaking drinks in was a bad look, as we’re not kids anymore. I explained that I couldn’t get these at the bar and that I still order club sodas with lime and tip, but everyone seemed unconvinced.

So, AITA for bringing my own drinks to social events that don’t offer what I drink?

TL;DR: I bring my own niche non-alcoholic drinks to social events because venues don’t offer them. I do this discreetly, still purchase items like club soda, and tip staff. Recently, someone publicly called me out, suggesting it’s inappropriate. Am I the asshole for bringing my own beverages under these circumstances?