I (36F) have been married to my husband (41M) for 8 years and we have 4 children. Every summer his family does a camping trip, and we’ve been going for the past 3 years. It’s A LOT of work with 4 little kids, and my husband is not a very outdoorsy type, but I grew up camping and fishing so I love to have my kids experience it as well. My husband has a big extended family and there are usually 40 people that go, so we book the group site far in advance. Meanwhile, I’m on the board of my local women’s club and our biggest fundraising event falls on the same weekend as camping (I’ve also known the date for about a year, so it was just an unfortunate scheduling conflict). All of the board members are required to volunteer, and it’s a big Local Brew Fest that I honestly really enjoy running, so I wouldn’t want to miss it regardless. My husband’s sister, who plans the logistics for camping, knows about my conflict. And their uncle, who has an RV and takes all the kids fishing every year, also has a conflict and cannot go. We talked about switching the dates, but last night his sister texted that they decided not to switch the dates because “The idea of family camping has always been set a date and if people can come they show up. Rain or shine.” I don’t want my husband to go without me, and here’s why:

1. We have one family vehicle. If he goes, he’s leaving me completely without a car for 4 days (Thursday - Sunday)
2. Keep in mind that I prep and bring 90% of the food for camping. I do the shopping and make sure we have everything. His sisters don’t really cook, so I did the food not just for our immediately family, but for theirs too. I made breakfast sandwiches for all the families, walking tacos, lunch sandwiches, etc. I honestly enjoy doing it so this isn’t a complaint at all, just a fact for the story
3. I’m the one who loves camping, not my husband. I cut the worms, put the bait on all the hooks, love sleeping outside, etc.
4. My event is only from 12-6pm ONE day, so now I can’t see my kids and share camping with them for 4 full days? Camping is in another state so I can’t come and go, plus I wouldn’t have a car anyway

So yes, I’m a little salty about all of it. One of his other sisters still really wants him to go because otherwise her kids won’t have my kids to play with, and while I do get that, I still don’t want them going without me. I also kind of wanted my husband to volunteer this big fundraising event with me as most of the spouses do, so I’m also bummed he wouldn’t be around to share in that with me. I feel like a jerk for not wanting him to go without me, and now my own expectations are letting me down too, because I kind of wanted him to come to that conclusion on his own? Am I the asshole for not letting him go?