Lots of context: my (soon to be 21F) dad is in hospice from terminal cancer and is deteriorating very quickly, it’s indescribably painful to watch him like this and we had no idea his mental state would get so bad so quickly. My sister is 6 years older than me, my dad was at her wedding and has got to meet both of her children. However, my sister is going through a divorce as her ex husband is truly one of the worst people on earth and cheated on her right after we found out about my dad’s cancer and she was 8 months pregnant. I have a boyfriend of 8 months and we were planning on getting engaged this month (long engagement) just so that my dad could be with us for at least one celebration of our relationship, but with how quickly my dad has gone down hill that’s up in the air. I’m devastated that he won’t be there to see me get married or graduate college or just build a life for myself in general. Finally, my birthday is in a week and he’ll probably die right around that time, I’m absolutely terrified it’ll be on my birthday.

Now, I get very depressed when I think about all the years and life experiences my siblings (I also have a brother in his 30s) got to experience with my dad that I never will. I expressed this to my sister and she said that our situations were the same, or that hers was even worse, because of her divorce. Now I am not saying one of our situations are worse, we’re both losing probably the best dad and person that has ever lived, I wouldn’t minimize her pain like that. And I can’t even imagine how difficult it would be being a single mother through all of this, I really do get her perspective. But it is so hard to hear her dismiss those memories that I would do anything to have with my dad. Like it physically pains me that she takes for granted everything I want. And I know that her wedding probably doesn’t hold good memories anymore, but she still got to have a father/daughter dance, he walked her down the aisle, he saw her start her life and family. I don’t get any of that. And she says none of it counts.

For further clarification, I love my sister, despite her habit to one-up someone’s trauma (not just talking about this because I truly don’t know if I’m just throwing a pity party this particular time, she’s done it many times before) and her other habit of handling disagreements loudly and not really taking any blame (again, not talking about this situation). Most of the time she’s a wonderful and supportive person, and I have definitely learned not to bring up this subject with her in the future because I just don’t think we’ll ever agree on it. But idk, AITA for being upset by her dismissals? Maybe I’m just letting my jealousy and bitterness get the best of me

Also, if I am TA please say it gently my mental state is fragile lmao