A few months ago, we had a family gathering. My little cousins were there M (male, 9) and A (female, 8). I absolutely adore M, but A has always been hard to like. She’s young, I know, but her personality causes issues. She often hurts others with her behavior, and unfortunately, her actions rarely come with any consequences. Her parents (my uncle and aunt) once divorced and remarried each other again, which affected her a lot. My parents (mom, 36, and dad, 38) have always been there for A and her older sister K (female, 14). We often take them out, spend time with them, and treat them like our own.

At the family event, everything was going well. I was playing with A and M giving them piggyback rides while they pretended I was a surfboard. It was fun. For context, I weigh around 48 kg, and A is 50 kg, very overweight for a child her age. This unfortunately leads to her getting bullied, which she opened up to me about. I tried to comfort her and told her it’s what’s inside that matters.

That day, she was wearing mascara (yes, at 8 I don’t know why either), and while we were playing, it smudged. She got upset, saying she looked “ugly,” and started crying. M, being the sweet kid he is, smudged some black watercolor on his own eyes to cheer her up and show she wasn’t alone.

Then out of nowhere, A runs to her parents and starts bawling her eyes out: “M-mom! D-daddy! H-he has m-mascara o-on!” (She talks like a baby around her parents because she’s spoiled and thinks it’s cute.)

Her mom, my aunt, starts yelling at M, asking why he’s wearing mascara. He tries to explain, saying, “It’s not! It’s just black watercolor!” But instead of listening, my aunt goes off on a rant about how he’ll “probably start wearing lipstick next,” clearly implying something about his masculinity or that he might turn gay. It was beyond inappropriate.

That’s when K, A’s older sister, snapped and told her mom that it’s not okay to discipline someone else’s child like that, especially over something so small. I didn’t stay silent either I told her, “You should look at your own kid. You overfeed and spoil her, then turn around and judge other kids? He was just trying to cheer her up, and now you’re embarrassing yourself by making weird assumptions about a 9-year-old.”

That’s when A exploded. She started screaming and ran at me yelling, “You don’t love me!” I just nodded and replied, “What’s there to love? You’re a spoiled brat who doesn’t know how to act normal. Keep this up and you won’t have any friends in the future.”

Later, A was still supposed to sleep over at our house. My mom picked us up and once we got home, I pulled A aside and told her straight up: the way she acts won’t help her in life. She needs to stop snitching on others, especially when they’re trying to help her, and that her bratty behavior isn’t cute. She stood there quietly the whole time. She tried interrupting once with a “b-b-but,” but I cut her off and said, “No buts.”

Later that night, I texted with her sister K and we ended up venting and laughing about how exhausting the whole family dynamic is. It was honestly nice to feel understood.

Also, just for the record A’s mom never disciplines her in public, and probably not at home either. And M’s mom? She just stood there silently the entire time, not saying a word. This isnt the first or the last time she got M into trouble for no reason.