I know it sounds controlling just hear me out. I 22 (F) have been with my partner 25(M) for nearly a year and a half. We have a really strong connection and love each other a lot. The issue is , he smokes A LOT. He’s been trying to save up for a house with me as we’re planning on moving in together soon, but all his money is drained by how much he’s buying.

I understand smoking as the same as having a glass of wine or a beer, something to relax it’s not that deep, but it’s now affecting our chances of progressing. I’m currently doing a masters degree at university and I’m full time working, whereas he’s been denied 2 jobs as he’s not been able to stay clean long enough to pass a drug test. About a year ago he said he wanted to cut down and fully quit, he’s been doing it for like 5 years so I do appreciate how hard it is. He told me he binned all this stuff and wasn’t buying, until he smelt of it and admitted he had been lying to me FOR 8 MONTHS. It’s made me overthink a lot and I’m starting to feel like as much as I love him, I can’t see a future with someone who does smoke as much as he does.

I’ve put a lot of time, energy and effort into our relationship, so has he, but the lying and consistently smoking is really getting to me and I’m considering just leaving the relationship. I know I can’t control him and I don’t want to, I don’t want to make him change, it wouldn’t even be an issue if it was once or twice, same as me having a drink, but it’s every. single. night. I really love and care about him but it’s not what i want in life. I wanted to marry this guy and I saw him as my future, now I’m really unsure.