Hello reddit, English isn’t my first Language but i hope my writing is okay. I am a 19 year old girl from Germany and i cut Contact with my abusive Stepfather in 2022. He sexually, mentally and physically abused me through my entire childhood since I was 4 years old. My Mom met him when I was 1 year old and they moved in together when I was 2. At first he wanted to be like a father figure for me, but when my little sister was born he completely changed for the worse. He started to yell at me for every little thing. When I spilled a little bit of water, he gave me my first beating. From then on he would frequently beat me with a belt or tell me how horrible I am and that I deserve nothing. Because he now had his own biological child i wasn‘t worth anything for him. At 4 years old he started to touch me on my private parts or forced me to take off my clothes. His only mission was to make my life a living hell. When me and my sister had any fights he was always on her side and blamed me. I was always the fool in his stories. At some point he told me about his intimate preferences and asked me some very inappropriate questions. As a child i coudn‘t see what he was doing until I was much older. He said that if I talked to anyone he would kill my entire Family or if I don’t let him do things to me, he would do it to my Sister. So I just kept quiet and let it happen. I really believed that he was going to kill me a few times. As a result of the Abuse I became a very aggressive child. When I was ten, I started to hit him back or try to stop him from forcing himself onto me. Sadly he was alsways the stronger one and liked to remind me of that. So at thirteen I just stopped trying to defend myself. I became suicidal and thought this was the only way out. My Mom luckily divorced him when I was almost fifteen but it wasn‘t over yet. In the beginning she tried to convince me to see him when he would visit my sister. But I didn’t had the courage to tell her about everything he did to me so I tried my best and swallowed my emotions. In 2021 i began therapy. I had learned so much about Trauma that I knew letting go was the best option for me and my mental health. This man gave me pretty bad PTSD and I still struggle a lot sometimes. But now we come to the interesting part. I cut contact with him in 2022. I still hadn’t told anyone from my family what he did. But I guess the support from my amazing Therapist gave me the strength to do so. But a few months ago, he started to tell people how sad he was that his daughter cut contact with him. I was shocked to hear that he called me his daughter, because he alsways said i wasn’t his child. And I think he don’t deserves to call me that either. Shockingly he managed to convince some people that I was the bad guy AGAIN. I feel like i can‘t focus on healing anymore because he still tries to ruin me. After all this horrible time i just want to be okay again. But this man is actively trying his hardest to get in contact with me. He said I am a yerk for cutting him off. And I should think of everything he did for me, but i feel nothing for him. I don’t have a single feeling for him or this Situation. Sometimes I even feel a bit guilty for cutting him off. So I hope some of you can give me an outside perspective and tell me, AITA?