Hello hope you all are well and are having a good Monday. This post I know I’m going to sound like such an idiot of a woman but I need to ask this question and get advice on what to do etc.

Let’s add some context, I’m a young married woman who has 3 young kids. Been married a few years and we are happy but have had hard times especially recently with my pnd that’s only started to lift in recent months. I was not myself for months and it caused tension in our families. Me and DH regularly butted heads over things. Let’s get to my guyfriend. I’ve know him slightly longer than DH. We’ve got close in recent years but wish we had done so years ago. We both admit that. We’re very similar and get each other. He’s been there for me during my pnd and has been a good listener when I was falling apart. He’s a very special friend to me.

Now when we are together we act crazy and a bit flirty but in a harmless way as I wouldn’t cheat. We’re just very close. So onto the other day. He came over to my house then my DH went to work. 2 of the 3 kids were in the house too though my eldest was playing in the garden and youngest was napping so we basically had the house to ourselves it felt like. We had a great time just talking, laughing and joking (the odd flirty joke thrown in). I noticed (even though we do tend to sit right next to each other when we’re together) we had got quite close to each other on the settee. This may sound inappropriate (we’ve done it before) but we cuddled a lot. I generally don’t think the odd cuddle is a big deal tbf. After another cuddle he jokingly pulled me on top of him and started swinging me around. We were only having a laugh then he touch my hip and stroked my leg (he more made a joke of it). This part I’m thinking did we go too far? The crazy thing is part of me really liked it and felt so relaxed especially cuddling into him. After some more talking we cuddled again and this time he pulled me onto him and held me there until I got off. I was scared of someone walking past and seeing us then getting the wrong idea.

I’m not the type to cheat as I love my DH and wouldn’t want to ruin that. Since that happened I can’t stop thinking about it. Part of me felt like we went too far but another part really liked it but would draw a line under it. I don’t want to ghost him and lose him as a friend and I don’t want to cross the line big time e.g if me and guyfriend met up and got drunk I could see us making a mistake. Did I cross the line? What should I do?