I (26F) had a very close friend back in university—we were practically inseparable. She had a stable, healthy relationship while I was going through a complicated one, and she was my go-to person. She listened to me, supported me, and I genuinely appreciated her being there.

But after she graduated a year earlier than me, things began to change. Our contact decreased significantly. I made continuous efforts to stay in touch—messaging her, calling her, trying to make plans—but she often took days or even weeks to reply. Still, I kept trying.

Then, I lost my mother. Around the same time, I was in another complicated, emotionally draining relationship. I reached out to her, needing someone, needing her. She responded sometimes, rarely called, and when I asked to meet, she either didn’t commit or brushed it off with “I’m too busy.” The only time she actually came to see me was when she happened to be in town with the guy she was seeing, and she had time to kill while he was busy. That really hurt.

I eventually stopped trying. I realized I was the only one putting in any effort. I stopped sharing, stopped messaging, stopped chasing a friendship that clearly wasn’t mutual anymore.

Then, out of the blue, she messaged me asking if I knew any hotels in my hometown—she was visiting. I told her I didn’t want to help and that I didn’t even consider her my friend anymore. She just said “okay.” That was it.

Weeks later, she messaged again, asking for help. Apparently, her family (we both come from very traditional Asian backgrounds) found out that she had been taking trips with her boyfriend. They discovered it through her bank statements, and now she’s in trouble. She asked me to lie to her family and say I used her card and went on those trips—with alone for my sister's wedding or with my boyfriend. She even asked me to say I gave her the card while visiting her hometown to meet my boyfriend.

The thing is, her family has a very good impression of me. And this story could damage my reputation. Still, I agreed to help because she sounded desperate. After that, thinking maybe we could reconnect, I opened up about my life and struggles—especially about the toxic relationship I’m still recovering from.

At first, she seemed supportive. But one day, after a particularly tough situation, I called her crying, and she said, “You keep talking about the same thing. It's becoming a burden.” That broke me. I get that it can be tiring, but I would never say that to someone I care about—especially after everything.

That’s when it hit me: all those years she claimed to be too busy to talk, to meet, to reply—she was just spending time with her boyfriend. And yet she couldn’t make space for me even once, even when I was grieving or in serious emotional pain.

So I’ve finally cut her off—for good this time.

But now I keep thinking: AITA for cutting her off after all this, especially when I agreed to help her with her family situation?