📝 AITA for cutting off a friend of the opposite sex?

By El_Toro2018 • Score: 1 • April 14, 2025 9:14 AM


For context

There was a friend [F20] of mine [M20], who I had known for nearly 5 years. We met on Instagram in a group chat, but haven't spoken to each other in years a few months after we had just me because she had deleted her account. In those few months, we learned that we not only live in the same state, but the cities we live in aren't too far from each other, meaning I genuinely believed there was a chance for a romantic relationship. For context, the groupchat was a cross-denomination Christian one where everyone of all major branches learned our differences from each other. I had indirect contact with her all these years through another online friend I met in that groupchat. He said she was still online, but not as active all these years. Up until last year, we start catching up and chatting again. Throughout the entire year of us talking again, we learn that we have a lot in common and even have common ground, and obviously, we eventually find out what we both look like, which I had thought she was very pretty. But it was purely platonic from when we had first caught up again last year. Fast forward a few months after catching up, I then start to develop feelings for her, so I confess and she puts me in the friend zone, which it did not hurt, because I was grateful to have her in my life, whether romantically or platonically, as she was a great friend, despite never seeing each other in-person. Fast forward to a few weeks later, she then starts telling me about her boyfriend, which was actually a long distance relationship. In fact, they had never seen each other in-person. This isn't the first time either, she has mentioned another boyfriend of hers that was long distance, who she also never seen in-person. So she starts then telling me her situation and how draining it is to deal with. I kid you not, she was obsessed with the entire situation, she couldn't stop thinking about it. I then eventually told her that the relationship is doomed to fail, given the overall situation (which, I actually was right. The relationship did end).

Here's where it got to me. She's given two guys a chance in a long distance relationship who she literally can't even see in-person because both of those guys live on the other side of the world, but you can't give one of your close male friends who you can see in-person, given we only live an hour and a half away from a chance, while telling him about your boy problems? Get tf out of my face, because I actually felt emasculated at that point, as if she doesn't respect me as a man, which I did feel hurt from, because why put me in the friend zone and then talk to me about how another man has your attention? At first, I thought it was because of our religious differences, as I were a Protestant and she was a Roman Catholic, but that was obviously irrelevant, given none of those were Roman Catholics themselves, so it wasn't that. I then thought about it months after this whole situation, because those feelings for her were still there. So I then start telling that friend of ours about what I'm feeling and thinking of her, which I did tell him I was going to eventually confront her about. BUT THEN HE GOES ON AND TELLS HER EVERYTHING I SAID ANYWAY, AND SHE MESSAGES ME BACK WITH DISAPPOINTMENT, SAYING, "Don't speak of me like that again behind my back. I trusted you with that information and you went on and told him about it." So I then reply, "Well... that's pretty much the sum of it, so I'm not going to further explain myself. Goodbye." Then boom, I blocked her socials and phone number, ensuring I don't allow another opportunity to come back.

What do you guys think? Should I unblock her and apologize because I was wrong? Should I just leave the situation? Was she right?

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