Hello everyone I need some advice.

I love my boyfriend (M27) and he loves me (M26) very much as well, but there is a catch. We have been together for 2 years and he has very low self esteem, so he will lie about small things to make himself look better.

He was unemployed so he was sitting at home all day, our cat peed on the sofa so I asked him to wash it while I was at work. When he came to pick me up I asked if he washed it and he said yes.

He lies very poorly so I’m usually able to tell when he’s lying so I pushed it and asked him multiple times if he did wash the sofa. After pinky promising me he did, he eventually admitted that he actually didn’t and he forgot.

Whenever I ask him why he lies and just doesn’t admit he forgot he says it’s because he is scared I will think he is a screwup that can’t do anything right and leave him.

And it’s always dumb stuff like this. I will ask him to do something and he will forget and say he did it when he actually didn’t.

We are vegetarian and he ordered something to eat one day when I wasn’t home. Later that day I asked what he had for lunch and he told me and I was like “that dish has meat in it no?” And he was like “no, no meat”. I saw he was lying again and eventually he admited it did have meat and that he didn’t know before he ordered and he was afraid I would be disappointed learning he ate meat.

I told him I didn’t care, if he eats meat by mistake while being vegetarian that’s between him and his values and there is no need to lie to me about it.

I don’t think he would lie to me about something really serious, all his lies are not premeditated it’s just something he says on the spot because his low self esteem and his fear of looking bad take advantage of him and he feels the need to compensate.

Right now he got a job but the lying has really impacted our relationship and I’m honestly scared I won’t be able to get over it. He started seeing a therapist once a week to try and work on this issue, it’s been around 3 months, and he has lied to me once since (the meat thing).

He seems to be doing some efforts but I’m scared he won’t ever change and that I will forever be wondering if he is lying to me or not and just be unhappy. I’ve gotten to a state where I am starting to be a bit paranoid and questioning a lot of things he says.

What should I do? He is great and loves me very much, we want the exact same things in life and he is always there for me but honesty is such an important part of relationships in my eyes that lies, even small and dumb ones like these, make me very sad and wonder if I should continue this relationship.

Can I get some advice? Thank you!