Throwaway to post this. Some background: I (28f) have been part of this large friend group for many years. It includes my two closest female friends, their boyfriends, and a lot of other friends (mainly male). We met this guy, let’s call him Nick (29m), early on in joining the friend group, and have known him for 5+ years. Well he started dating this girl, let’s call her Sarah (25f), several years ago. Through their relationship, us girls in the group became really close with Sarah, closer with her than with her partner Nick. I would consider her one of our best friends. Nick was always a little problematic, and would say off color things, but we always let it slide as him being a fun and crazy guy.

Well cut to a little over a year ago, and his behavior just kept getting worse and less aligned with the type of person I’d usually keep in my life.

He became pretentious and would talk down to everyone and say generally disrespectful things towards women and gay people. He would do things blatantly disrespectful towards his own girlfriend - like going to strip clubs and texting other girls (which she was not comfortable with). He yelled at our female friend over something small, called her a smart mouth and said she should shut up. He actively re-kindled a friendship with a man that was abusive towards a female friend in the group, slept with our other friends girlfriend for years while they were together, and compulsively lied and stole from everyone in our friend group. The final straw was that he accused our close friend (27f) of cheating on her boyfriend, said all of us girls act like sluts, and said he wouldn’t want his girlfriend to hang out with us alone. He was talking shit actively behind our backs for a long period of time, and went out of his way to try and mess up my friend’s relationship.

Now to be clear, none of these accusations are true! It is all completely false. We are women that like to have fun and let loose, but we value trust and love highly.

So after this all of the female friends in this group pretty much decided we want to cut Nick out of our lives. In fact we’ve separated from a lot of men in this group. Here’s the tricky part - Sarah really doesn’t understand why and keeps asking why we’re being distant and cutting her off. Now this girl is pretty much an angel. She is so sweet, progressive, fun, always responsive and has had our backs in so many situations. We tried to continue being friends with her at first but it just feels difficult cause we can’t really be honest about certain things around her. She just keeps defending Nick here and telling us we don’t understand and it’s not his fault.

It felt so mean to cut off contact with her, but she continually rides so hard for our biggest enemy. She keeps saying she is a separate person from her relationship, but it’s hard to hang out with a person who is likely going to marry someone you really hate.

AITA for cutting her off?