I (25f) met my ex best friend (same age, non binary) online around 10 years ago. We quickly became really close and stayed friends for the next few years until I hit a very depressive episode that lasted for 2 months. I didn't talk to them much during this time, because I was afraid the negativity would drag them down and I felt guilty for being in such a terrible mindset and them having to put up with that. Mind you, I got no messages from my friend during this time. No check ins. No "how are you doing" messages. Nothing. If I didn’t message first, I didn't hear from them.

When the depressive episode was over, I apologized to them for being gone so much. My friend took this absence personally and didn't accept my apology. We stopped speaking for a few years after this and during this time I made an attempt to reach out but was ignored.

Fast forward. This friend reached out to me and apologized for ghosting me so we rekindled our relationship but this only lasted about a year. Everything was fine. We were getting along great and talking every day (they also helped me and supported me through a really traumatic experience during this time). It felt like the good ol days. However, this friend suddenly stops responding to me. We're both busy people with responsibilities, I get that. But weeks at a time would go by.

I would occasionally send this person messages to check on them and remind them that I'm here if they ever need anything. These messages would go ignored. After 7 months, I finally broke down and just flat out asked them if they even wanted to be friends anymore or if I was bothering them. I explained that I understood if they needed space and I would happily offer that, but I was in the dark as to why they wouldn't talk to me. This message was sent on discord, and my friend popped up online immediately after I sent this message, lingered for a minute, then went offline again. Okay. Whatever. Maybe they were just busy at the moment. I'll give it time.

So I did. No reply. I send another message basically saying no response is still a response, and told them to never reach out to me again. I explained that I was not doing a repeat of how they've already treated me before and that our friendship was over. Still, nothing.

My worry is that I overreacted. Was I right in cutting them off and ending the friendship or should I have waited and given it more time? Idk. I'm just so bummed about losing them as a friend. They meant a lot to me and it feels like I was just dogshit on the bottom of their shoe they finally felt like scraping off.