I went through a relationship that left me extremely confused and emotionally drained. I was with a woman who frequently canceled our plans at the last minute, told me I didn’t love her, that I’d get tired of her, and constantly told me to "find someone else." When I said I wanted to see her, she’d say her room was a mess. If I made any kind of comment, she’d respond with “Oh, you don’t like it? Then I’ll just leave.”

Many times, she tried to make me jealous by saying people were asking if she was single. She even encouraged me to download dating apps—and after we broke up, I found her on those same apps.

She blocked me on WhatsApp and later sent an SMS saying she missed me. Her mother called me, asking if I still loved her daughter. Then she herself called, invited me to her mom’s party, and later messaged me saying she loved me and missed me more than she thought she would. She invited me over, and when I said no, she said I abandoned her and that it was “my” choice, asking if I was happy with it. In the end, she said she gave up on me, that I took away her happiness, and now she wants it back.

There were absurd situations—like one time she said she wouldn’t go to a party, so I decided to go to church. Out of nowhere, she changed her mind and went to her friend’s party instead, while insisting I go to church. When I asked if I could come over earlier to spend some time with her, she didn’t allow it. Still, I bought two chocolates and waited outside. Her sister saw me and invited me in. There, she introduced me to her friends as her boyfriend, and on the same night, she randomly said, “Let’s download an app and find you a hot girl?”

The worst part is that, despite everything, my feelings for her were real. I feel like I gave it my best. I tried to be present, I tried to understand—but all I got were contradictions, distance, blame, and emotional games. Now my mind is a mess, and I don’t even know if breaking up was the right choice. With each passing day, I feel more empty, lost… and with very dark thoughts. It feels like there’s no way out.

I didn’t want things to be like this. I keep asking myself what I did wrong, what I could’ve done differently. I just want to understand.