I (late 30s, F) dated this man “Liam” (40s, M) for several years. We broke up a few months ago but remained very close friends, we talked daily, shared emotional support, and maintained a connection that still felt like a partnership in many ways. He always said I was his best friend and that we’d never not be in each other’s lives.

This man bragged to everyone who would listen about being a good father and that his kid is his legacy, he always claimed being a present father was his top priority. He even once criticized me for needing to travel for a work event that overlapped with his custody weekend, saying parenting came first no matter what. He was very vocal about never compromising his time with his daughter for dating or other distractions. He constantly judged other dads, including my own ex husband, about not taking their parenting time / switching weekends for women. He made fun of my ex for dating a woman one state away, saying he was thinking with his dick.

Fast forward to last week, he casually mentioned he was going on a “trip with a friend” but was vague about the details. After I pressed a bit (because he was being weird and obviously lying) he finally admitted he was flying several states away to meet a woman he’d met online a month ago, someone he’s never met in person.

The real kicker? He switched his weekend with his ex to make the trip work, something he always claimed he’d never do for a woman. Something he argued with me about after we were already dating for four years.

He’s also behind on rent and bills, constantly complains about money, and then spent what little he has on this trip. Doesn’t have money to pay his rent, light bill, or child support.

When I expressed that I felt lied to and hurt because this goes against every moral he’s ever preached to have, not even as an ex, but as a friend, he acted like I was being unreasonable and accused me of giving him an ultimatum. I told him I couldn’t continue the friendship. It felt like the final straw in a long line of hypocrisy, lack of integrity, and emotional immaturity.

For context, this man never truly showed up for me during our relationship. He would ghost me after arguments, withhold affection, never ask how I was doing, and forgot important things about my health. He never really supported me, but I kept giving him grace because I loved him.

I’m getting called bitter by mutual acquaintances because I ended things for good after this. But to me, it wasn’t about the trip, it was about the lies, the double standards, the fact that he treated a stranger better than someone who was there for him for years. I think he’s prioritizing a woman over his kids and it’s disgusting. I think it’s an idiotic move to travel states away to sleep with a stranger when you are about to be evicted. I also think it’s dangerous, and in his words- thinking with his dick.

So—AITA for cutting off my ex/friend over this? Or was I just finally done being taken advantage of?