I [19 F] Met my friend Willow [20 F] at my first job, which was in customer service a year ago. We spent a lot of time together at work, and when we had time we would chat about our lives and any drama going on. At the time, Willow was dating this guy Daniel [21 M] and she would tell me about him constantly, how nice he was and how he spent so much money on gifts etc for her. Well, they ended up breaking up a few months ago and at around the same time I left to join a new job so I didn’t hear about the whole breakup drama.

Willow and I talk a lot and sometimes meet up to keep up with eachother, so we’re pretty good friends still. Fast forward to around a month ago and I met a guy while out at a bar named Dan. Honestly he just instantly charmed me, he was funny and smart and we had a lot of similarities with growing up in the same area. However, I’d never seen him before this point. At the time I didn’t really think about the ex of my friend and former colleague, because I hadn’t even heard about the guy in so long.

Well I ended up going home with him and I had a great night. Since then we’ve been texting and chatting, and we’ve hung out at his place a couple of times. Things have been really good, until we were on call one night and we got on the topic of exes. When he told me about his ex girlfriend, and told me her name was Willow I knew I’d fucked up. He told me me that they broke up because of lost interest, and that the relationship started getting rocky towards the end when she got mistrusting of him for “no reason”. At this point I think I must have just hung up immediately. I freaked out and ended up calling Willow, and asking her what Daniels last name was. Yeah, it was him.

She asked me why and I had to awkwardly explain that I was now dating her ex boyfriend without even knowing it. That quickly turned to her yelling at me down the phone line that I was sick for dating him. I was pissed because 1) no matter how much I asked her to just calm down and tell me what happened with them she was on a tangent and 2) I didn’t even know anything about Daniel when she was dating him! I’d never met the guy face to face and all she told me was a brief descriptor of his features- which are just so common I couldn’t have known.

I tried to get that in and she told me that she would feel betrayed if I kept dating her ex boyfriend. I told her that I didn’t have any reason to break up with someone I was perfectly happy with, and she said that their relationship ended with her heartbroken so I would be violating her trust in me. I told her It’s my decision not hers, and she hung up on me.

I’m feeling angry and stuck right now. I told Dan what had happened, and told me that he’s moved on from Willow and feels like it’s his decision to be with me. I obviously want to be with him, and I don’t want to sabotage a relationship over someone else’s opinion, but I’m aware that dating your friends ex is frowned upon. I’m just wondering if I fucked up. So, AITA?