I(19F) grew up in a large household and the second oldest of four kids. Growing up, I was quite sheltered but I had an abusive mother.She would verbally berate me and my siblings along with my dad and refused to get help. She used to tell me that I was worthless and never admitted that she loved me at all. When I was 13, Things went downhill. Mom went to the hospital but refused to take her perscribed meds and she began lashing out verbally. She basically exhiled my dad to the garage and locked everybody in the house. It was like walking on eggshells and being around a ticking time bomb. Basically, My mom would overfeed me by making me use food as an escape to my emotions. She also was embarrassed of me. For a little context, Im overweight, I've always been. As you know, being overweight comes with stretch marks. There was one time when I was about 10, my mom noticed stretch marks on my legs and stomach and said

"Did you want me to book in a laser removal surgery for those stretch marks? They're so gross."

I said no and for YEARS she tried to make me fade my stretch marks. Everytime something happened to her, she would blame me. She became so paranoid that she wouldnt let any of us go to school. I had a health crisis that led me to be bedridden for months and she refused to take me to the hospital because I "Only wanted to go for the ambulance ride". Any kind of communication was immediately taken as a personal attack and I fought with her whenever we were in the same room. She would drive my friends away from me from her behaviour and even expect me to raise my younger brother(whos autistic) and my younger sister alone while she went upstairs to online shop.

She would cook for us and stuff like that but she was never there emotionally. She started attacking me with insults about literally anything she can think of. She also had threatened me to "tell the truth" when I was. She also refused to see anything was wrong with me. I never told her I was diagnosed with Addison's disease because she would've flipped. When I was 17, I called CPS on her because I had enough of her berating me and literally tearing me down to the point I barely slept because I would just sit there and cry. She also took away my room and moved my bed to the living area in our basement and made my room a "hangout room". She also kicked my sister out of her room and made her stay with me. Basically when CPS and the cops came, it was a shit show. Mom refused to cooperate at first but they threatened to arrest her. She eventually did cooperate but played the victim,blaming my dad (who was also being verbally abused) that this was all his fault. My mom also took pictures the whole time and refused to believe it was her fault. She refused to move out and even withheld our belongings that we will never get back.

My mom also said I was a disgrace to her and that I should've been grateful for all the things she's done for me. Yes there were good times but she would use that against me. I could never tell her anything because she would use it against me in an argument.You couldn't make any mistakes around her, whether it be a name,time,place, or even number. The reason being is because she would somehow assume it was something plotted against her. She would think that I was trying to act innocent and berate me for hours to try to get the "truth" out of me. She also never supported me in anything I did. She hated the fact I was more of a tomboy and that I hated showing my body and wearing makeup. She would go through my phone and basically violate my privacy. My older brother tried to defend himself one time and she yelled at him for being "ungrateful" and "spoiled" and he shut down since he hates conflict. I was accused of being a mother to my younger siblings when i tried protecting them from the yelling. After me and my younger siblings left with my dad, we were homeless for 3 weeks living in hotels paid by CPS. Now, 2 years later, my dad and I were talking. He asked if I talked to my mom and I told him the following:

"She's no mother to me. not after what she did to me."

My dad got super pissed and said that my mom was still my mother and that I had no right to disown her and called me an asshoke for disowning my mom, trying to justify what she did. He said that she will always be my mother and that I had to forgive her for verbally abusing me for all my life. I told him that I disowned her the moment we left the house and he said that I was just "too emotional" and "healing" from it and that I needed to welcome her into my life again when she's ready...

So, AITA?