I (17NB) and my ex gf (18F) were friends for about 2 years before dating. She would ask me out every few months but I wasn't over an ex for a long long time. But over the last summer I felt ready to actually focus on somebody else. So a week after our birthdays (which were next to eachother) I asked her out and we dated. For about the first month it was very calm because I wasn't expected to really be close to a family. I don't expect it of my partners for a whole year atleast because stuff happens. But after that month, or atleast I think it was after a month, my girlfriend started to treat me pretty cold. I told her private things abour myself as you do with not only a girlfriend but a friend. She did the same for me but I kept it private of course. She started to tell her family private things I told her and started to talk poorly about me to her family. I didn't know about this until she told her family 5 months into our relationship about me being transgender. For context, I am somebody who doesn't align with gender norms but am born female and present feminine because it gives me joy. I don't come out to those around me because for me pronouns don't personally matter so being misgendered isn't a problem so why make it one. Her jewish family is transphobic proudly, so when she told them they had a "discussion" (she called it) because they're "yentas". In this discussion, her aunt cussed out my girlfriend for her "girlfriend being bullshit" when I never expected this conflict to happen and for them to know or care. When I was told, her mom said I was overreacting and they aren't transphobic. Later that night my girlfriend asked me to "be a girl for her" when I didn't do anything to make this an issue. After a week I asked for space after this because I wasn't mentally okay after this. She said I was bringing her family apart if she needed to set a boundary with her family. I don't personally understand this because I have many boundaries with my family. This ended in the breakup but after all this time I still think about this. There has always been problems in that relationship but I want to make sure I am not the asshole. (mainly relating to this girlfriend being very against how I look and the fact I have blue eyes and am not jewish) Am I the asshole for asking for space?