I (26F) intentionally didn’t attend my cousin’s engagement party.

About six years ago, I found out that my cousin (29F) had been secretly involved with my boyfriend at the time. By the time I learned the truth, the relationship with him was already over, but the betrayal still hurt, especially coming from family. We were never particularly close, but I was shocked that she could do something like that to me, and even more hurt that some family members knew and chose not to tell me.

I’m not a confrontational person, so I chose not to make a scene. Instead, I quietly distanced myself from her and from those who were aware of the situation but said nothing. My mom knows what happened and supports my choice to keep my distance. My dad, on the other hand, tends to side with my cousin. He often dismisses my feelings by saying things like, “Aren’t you over that guy?” or “You have a new boyfriend already,” and even accuses me of hating his side of the family (which I’ve never said). His comments are really hurtful.

My dad also has a history of misleading me about family gatherings, telling me we’re doing one thing but then bringing me to events with his side of the family. So about four weeks ago, my mom gave me a heads up that there was a surprise engagement party planned for my cousin. She knew I likely wouldn’t want to be there. I told my boyfriend and suggested a weekend trip to visit my younger cousin (24F) who lives out of town, and we turned it into a fun getaway with winery stops.

When I got back, my dad asked if I saw that my cousin got engaged. I said yes. He asked if I texted her to congratulate her. I told him no. He then started guilt-tripping me, saying her dad wished I had been there, and criticized the way I “act” toward her.

I don’t have children, but I’d like to believe that if I had a daughter who went through something like this, I’d support her and respect her decision to protect her peace. I don’t hate my cousin… I just don’t trust her, and I prefer to keep my distance because of what she’s done.

So, AITAH?