So my spouse and I are both in our early 30s, and we recently ended friendships with two couples we've been really close with for years. My spouse had been friends with one of them for a long time, and they were basically best friends. The three of them were this tight little group that did everything together.

We found out that these two couples had been swinging together, and they kept this hidden from us for over six months. The whole time, we were being super open with them, sharing all kinds of personal stuff about our lives, thinking we were all close, transparent friends.

Eventually one of them finally told my spouse about it and even said they felt relieved to get it off their chest. We weren't upset about what they were doing - honestly, that's their business - but we were really hurt that they actively hid something this big from us for months while we were still being completely open with them.

When we tried to talk to them about how their secrecy made us feel, they got really defensive. They basically said it was "none of our business" and that we shouldn't even feel hurt because it was their "private life." They didn't apologize at all and actually made it sound like telling us was some kind of favor they did for us. It felt like our feelings just didn't matter to them.

After that response, we decided we couldn't really trust them anymore and chose to step back from these friendships. Then the one who had confessed (who runs a bigger social group my spouse was part of) kicked my spouse out of that whole circle.

Now we're feeling kind of lonely without our friends, but we also don't feel right staying in relationships where there was such a big deception and zero accountability. I still see some of them occasionally for certain activities, but I've been feeling increasingly uncomfortable about the closer interactions.

So AITAH for ending these friendships? Should we have just been more understanding about them keeping their personal stuff private?