I (F26) had been best friends with this guy (M25) for about 5 years. We clicked early on and shared pretty much everything with each other. While we had discussed dating in the past, we mutually agreed it wouldn't work and preferred to remain just friends. Over the years, we dated other people and supported each other through our relationships.

About a year ago, I met someone I’m now unofficially engaged to (my family doesn’t know yet). Then, around 3 months ago, my best friend confessed that he had developed feelings for me. He said he didn’t want to hide it anymore, but would respect any decision I made. I was completely surprised - I'd never picked up on anything like that.

I asked for time to process it, and he said that was fine. But honestly, I was in a really overwhelming period in my life already, and his confession added more emotional pressure. I needed space, so I didn’t respond much, even though he checked in a few times.

After about 4 weeks, he sent a long message saying the silence was affecting his emotional and physical well-being. I apologized and explained that I didn’t have the emotional bandwidth to deal with this at the time, and I didn’t know when I would. He asked for more frequent updates, but I didn’t feel that would help and just felt even more overwhelmed. I distanced myself further.

Another 2 weeks passed - same pattern. He reached out again, told me he was struggling, and I again told him I couldn’t give him more right now. He said he’d think about it and followed up the next day, but I wasn’t ready to respond. In total, 2 months passed without meaningful interaction.

Eventually, I felt ready and texted him asking if we could talk. He suggested a call, but I preferred to do it over text to avoid misunderstandings. We talked about his feelings and how long he’d had them (he said 4 months, so about 2 months before confessing). Then, I told him I thought it was best to end the friendship. He said he respected my decision but was disappointed that I ended it over text, especially knowing that this method had hurt him in the past.

Fast forward 3 weeks. He messaged again asking to talk. I agreed, and we had a phone call. It was emotional but civil. He admitted he was starting to develop a grudge and didn’t want to carry that bitterness, given how meaningful the friendship had been. He said he felt hurt and disrespected that I didn't interact with him for 2 months and then ended the friendship over text, knowing his past experiences.

I explained my side - that I was overwhelmed and didn’t feel capable of handling the situation emotionally. I also pointed out that reaching out weeks later to revisit the situation wasn’t easy for me either, as I had a history with that too. He understood and apologized, but said he felt forced to reach out again due to the lack of communication.

He made it clear he still didn’t agree with my actions and "wouldn’t forgive" how I handled things, though he did say he understood my reasons rationally. He reiterated how important our friendship was and said some kind words to end things on a good note.

Still, the conversation left me feeling conflicted.

So, AITA for ending our friendship the way I did?