i have a friend that me & her have done sexual things in the past & it was fine for the time but i've outgrown it & the friendship & im not sure how to navigate breaking off the friendship with her. in the beginning it was fun but then it started to be too intense & relationshipy for me. BACKSTORY: we got "close" when another her (lets call her grace) & another friend (let's call her jane) of ours fell out. me & grace bonded over our grievances about jane be she was feeling a way & i could relate be jane had treated me in similar ways in the past so it felt good to vent and feel validated. me & grace were associates before then but not really super close. time went on & i ended up getting back good with jane much to graces dismay & she thought i was being fake although technically i've know jane longer & our friendships have always had ups and downs. sadly i prioritized grace feelings instead of my own & i feel like that was the first mistake. then i felt as if grace wanted me to be her replacement bestie & me being the ppl pleaser i kinda obligated but it never really felt authentic. our friendship felt like she had something to prove to jane. me & grace have also had a "friends w benefits thing" going on & i feel like that made her feel like im obligated to always put her first. she would tell me she feels uncomfortable with me flirting/ being friendly with other girls not to mention grace has a sort of bitchy attitude & gets into it with people often & she wants me to immediately choose her side even if she's in the wrong & it's becoming a bit too much for me. it's like grace wants to be my ONLY friend & confidant & im getting tired of it. i tried to set boundaries bc i've had homo erotic friendships before & they never end well so i told her i don't want to have sex with my friends anymore & She laughed & dismissed it and we ended up doing things again ( i blame myself for not sticking to my boundaries) but in my mind this clearly shows we can't be "just friends" be it'll eventually happen again & i feel like i've outgrown it & her friendship. also i have a boyfriend which she always kinda talks shit about which was okay at first but in the back of mind im wondering is it be she wants me to herself. i feel like for a good friendship to thrive it can’t be ulterior motives on either side. i just feel like what she searching for out of a friend i just can't give her. anyway i started distancing myself bc i hate confrontation & im a ppl pleaser unfortunately but she keeps wanting to link up & go out to eat & i just don't want to so i keep making excuses but she not catching the hint. we do somewhat run in the same circles so i want to break off the friendship in a way where we can see each other & still be cordial… is that wishful thinking? must it all end in fire & brimstone & im just being delusional. please give me advice