Sorry this is quite a long post but I thought I may as well include everything relevant. This has become a major source of drama in my friend group, and I honestly don’t know if I crossed a line, so I’m posting here for outside perspective. Should i have just kept silent about the situation?

A while back, I (21M)found out from a friend of mine (18F let’s call her Amy) that her ex-boyfriend (21M) - who I have known for nearly 8 years and genuinely dont think is a good person anyway, terrible friend at least - used to pressure her into sex while they were dating. She told me he would initiate things, she’d say no multiple times, he’d keep touching her, act grumpy, and guilt-trip her until she gave in and said “fine.” She explained how emotionally exhausting it was, how it made her uncomfortable with intimacy altogether, and that it took her a long time to realize what she went through wasn’t just “bad sex” but sexual coercion.

She also told me he would only compliment her when she was undressed, rarely took her on actual dates (just invited her to his house to play on his Switch and hopefully he could get some sex), and would routinely dismiss her in group calls - telling her to shut up whilst hes on the game or ignoring her completely when she talked about her interests. All of this painted a very clear picture of an unhealthy relationship.

Fast forward to recently—there was an argument in our group chat where this guy was trying to start drama with me. I had made a joking comment to someone about when are they posting a Mother’s Day picture since their mum is hot (in a clearly unserious tone), and even though I have a girlfriend, this guy started calling me a cheater and acting like some moral authority. He does this kind of ragebaiting a lot, but this time it felt especially ironic given what Amy had told me.

Amy was watching all this unfold and privately messaged me to say I could bring anything up if I wanted to. So, I called him out for what he did to Amy: repeatedly ignoring her lack of consent and coercing her into sex.

He laughed it off and denied everything, saying stuff like “womp womp, but you believe her for no reason.” That’s when I joined a voice call (with some others from the group) and confronted him directly. He kept denying anything happened and people were unconvinced and asking for evidence so I asked Amy if I could share the screenshots of their old conversations from when she broke up with him and then they spoke about the sexual coersion, and she said yes.

Here are some of the messages from those:

Him: "If you'd said you didn't like these intimate moments I would've said 'what didn’t you like about them?' and we would’ve talked and fixed it."

Amy: "I did say a few times, other times I didn’t because you would get upset at me for not doing certain stuff."

"So I would just suck it up and suck you off."

Him: "that was a long time ago, I only got upset because you didn’t give an explanation. I just want you to talk."

Amy: "I don't have to give you an explanation for not wanting to do anything sexual. 'No' is more than enough."

Him: "Ok but when you say no, stick to it. Not no and then yes. I get a bit disappointed because I wanted it but ok, after 5 mins I'm back to normal. It’s how anyone would react. Tell a dog he's not getting a treat, he gets upset for 3 mins then goes to play outside."

Amy: "I stick to it, but you don't."

Him: "Then I am sorry. I never realised it."

Amy: "There’s several occasions where I wanted to cuddle and you just would touch me and I would ask you to stop and you wouldn’t."

Him: "Sorry, I thought you were being playful."

After I shared those, we spoke a bit more in the call, but he continued to deny everything and eventually left. Later, in the group chat, more messages followed. Amy is A, he is B, I’m C, and another friend is D:

B: Again, not any of your business. If Amy has issues with me, she can talk to me about it.

C: She did talk to you, you moron.

B: She didn’t.

D: Why would she want to speak to the person who “raped” her?

B: Because she was in a relationship with that person. Communication is important. Ok, I raped her. Happy?

C: WAS in a relationship, not is. You're not entitled to speak to her forever.

B: Ok, and during the relationship, she never spoke about it again. Between me and her, not me and you. Stay out of it.

D: Too timid to, possibly. You're just digging yourself a hole.

B: Sure.

D: I would just stop now because you're making it worse for yourself.

B: Ok, but during the relationship, she never spoke about it.

A: Sorry, I was too scared about how you would react. Several times I did, and the reaction wasn’t nice.

After that, he stopped replying. The next day, he was removed from the group chat (not by me).

Since then, a lot of people in the group have reacted in ways I didn’t expect. Most haven’t condemned what he did at all. Instead, they’re accusing me of weaponizing private information during a fight, exposing private messages, and overstepping by speaking on Amy’s behalf - even though she gave me explicit permission.

Their main argument is that it’s a “complex situation,” that “we weren’t there,” and that it’s just a “he said, she said.” Some have even said I’m trying to destroy his reputation over something that isn’t “clear-cut rape.”

I could maybe understand wanting to stay “neutral,” though in my view, staying friends with him isnt neutral - it’s choosing to protect him. But what really shocked me is that some are now saying they want him back in the group and want to exclude those who sided with Amy.

I know it’s messy and serious, but it feels so wrong that their priority is his social fallout, not the harm Amy experienced. I didn’t do this out of pettiness - I did it because I believe this kind of behavior shouldn’t be quietly swept under the rug just because the guy’s in your friend group.

So, Reddit… AITA for exposing him?