This is my first time posting ever. It’s been a few weeks since this happened. I just need some advice.

So, bit of a backstory. I’m a teacher in a small district. I was also the cheerleading coach for the high school in the same district. This cheer season was rough for so many reasons and it took a toll on my mental health. On top of that, I’m a newlywed and my husband and I want to start a family soon. So I knew it was time to call it quits. However, I loved coaching and adored the team so this was not an easy decision in the slightest.

My cousin, who also just happens to be one of my closest friends, and I cheered together in high school. She’s the person I vented to about any issue that occurred during the season and even cried to her when I was upset about quitting. When the cheer coach position was posted, she immediately texted me to tell me she applied. I was very annoyed but just said “good luck” because I had nothing else to say. I asked people around me if I was being a brat for being annoyed that she would apply (especially without talking to me) but they all agreed they would probably be annoyed too. I knew eventually I would get over it so I kept that frustration to myself because it felt silly. She announced she was having a parent info meeting to the cheer parents and I heard through the grapevine (it’s a TINY district) that there was already some issues because of it. After the parent info night, I was told by one of the cheerleader’s parents about what was discussed and things she had said (she came to me, I didn’t ask). She summarized the topics of discussion and one of those things was something along the lines of “Things are going to be different this year. Bullying and body shaming will not be tolerated.” While I don’t think she meant that was something I allowed, it appeared that it came across that way to the parents. I was obviously hurt because I would never allow anything like that and it killed me to think that the parents I spent years with (and parents I’ve never met) might now think that was something I allowed as a coach, especially because I’m still teaching in the same district and it’s a small town. I ended up reaching out to her and telling her. I even said “you might not have meant it that way but people twist things” and just asked that she didn’t refer to or make comparisons to last year. When she responded she sent a long message about how she didn’t mention me at all. She was talking about her own experiences with teenagers and so on. She even added “I’m sad you’d think I’d say something like that about you” at the end of her last message. I just responded with a simple “thanks for clarifying. I figured that was the case but it sucked to hear.” I haven’t heard from her since then. I wasn’t trying to fight or cause an issue, I just needed her to know I was hurt. It was important to me because I had been upset for a while at this point. If I didn’t get some frustration out, then I’d bottle it up and it would explode eventually. Do I reach out to her or wait until she does? Am I the asshole for sending that message?